Hello everyone! You can call me "Marty" (NOT my real name -- staying extremely anonymous out of fear). Married, no kids, just moved to our own place with my wife of two years just last week, my family is extremely religious to the point where they are very condescending of others who are in the LGBT community. Also in between jobs right now, but I have a very good opportunity lined up for me. It's in my area of expertise, but I question if it's the right fit for me. Historically, back in grade school, I loved the female body. The thought of a vagina interested me (I guess you could call me "curious" there), but I have always loved the male genitals. My own, others, it's something I just can't get enough of I guess. What I wasn't fond of is when it came with the male body. Flat chest, beard, hairy legs, etc., I don't know, it's all just a huge turn off to me. Thanks to the magic of the early internet and no real consensus on how much censorship was needed (or enough, for that matter), I became familiar with "transvestites" (putting in quotes as I do not know if it's an offensive term -- if it's offensive, let me know what the correct terminology is and I'll use that) and it has always been something I quite liked. A girly girl, but with guy parts. Later they became known as "traps" (another possibly offensive word -- apologies if it's a bad one!), meaning they looked like females and dressed fully like them, but would have the male parts hidden away somewhere until you got close enough. I liked the thought of that too. So now I'm kind of stuck. I'm living in Akron, OH in an area that's not really Akron, but no one else wants to claim it, so whatever, but the good news is that Akron seems to be a bit of an epicenter for the LGBT community, so I'm optimistic. But I'm in a marriage I'm unhappy in, with a sexual identity I'm unhappy with, and with no real friends either, so I'm hoping I can make some new friends here.
Good luck and welcome. You'll find good resources here. Please comment on my intro posts (yes I did two) of yesterday or day before rather? BTW you are fine saying transvestite. The technical term is 'transvestic fetishism' where, say, a (funnily enough very often heterosexual, cos gendered/binary) man gets a thrill out of wearing one or more items of female clothing. And as my therapist tells me: "It's okay to be excited [sexually] it's not a crime whatever your religious family may or not think.
Whatever you choose to do, however late Iit may be in your life, no one has the right to tell you not to do it. (Unless it's illegal, but you did say where you lived was an "epicenter" so I assume that isn't the case.) If you are unhappy with your marriage, it would most likely be a good idea to see a couples counselor. If you have already tried this and you are still uncomfortable, it is not a healthy relationship. Also, onto the main subject. If you are unsure of what body you would like to have, try on clothes of the opposite sex. If you try on a dress and imstantly get giggly, comparative to putting on skinny jeans and a low hanging t-shirt, and wanting to burn it, the answer is quite obvious. L1l1 out.
First of welcome Marty, I know it may be hard but have you tried talking to your wife about everything thats going on in your head? I agree with L1l1 about a couples counselor as it easier said than done but honesty you never know what she will say or thinking. a bit of the pot calling the kettle black here for me a while back.
