This has been bothering me: I definitely feel that I would prefer to be viewed as male... Maybe it's because I was raised to embrace femininity, but I still feel comfortable with commonly perceived feminine features and mannerisms from time to time. I also currently do not feel comfortable with getting top/bottom surgery because I have always preferred to appreciate the natural body I was born with. Hell, I don't even feel comfortable with getting most piercings nor tattoos (It's all cool if others do it, I just don't want it on my body). Then I feel increasingly tired of having to worry about looking and behaving more "lady-like" and will find myself acting more masculine (only feeling comfortable in men's clothing, subconsciously speaking in a deeper tone, etc). I know this probably sounds like a stupid question, but does this "devalue" me wanting to be a guy in some way? What would it mean if I want a male body but still wish to act feminine sometimes?
Thanks, reading what you two had to say actually helped me feel much better. I don't know why I've had a hard time with this, but it definitely makes sense.
Gender identities are just words that place you into boxes. Tbh, you just pick the word that you feel more comfortable to use. there's no rules to belong anywhere in the gender identity spectrum.
I know I'm probably over-simplifying it, but if you feel like a male, that's all that matters. Doesn't matter if you want top/bottom surgery or not, or if you want to dress femininely. If you know what you are, that's what matters. There's no "right" way to be a man.
You're not alone. I'm mostly masculine guy inside to the point that I started HRT a month ago, and pretty much all femme girl outside, and I like it that way. It's different.
No, that definitely makes sense. Thank you It's nice to know that I'm not the only one here. Funny thing is I actually can't take HRT (at least for the moment) because of my current health issues. I naturally produce a ton of testosterone, which caused PCOS. Because basic hormone treatment did not help, my doctor prescribed me medication that is supposed to fully block testosterone from producing... It's sort of conflicting since I don't really want to block it, but if I don't, I could continue to have health problems. -shrug-
Oh you are definitely not alone with this I´m quite masculine (to the point when I could pass without even trying, lol) and I definitely want at least a top surgery one day, but sometimes I enjoy very feminine treats (like yelling at the top of my voice when I see a spider - I like to throw a drama from time to time, so...). Personally, I don´t believe in such crap as "not trans enough". Once you feel male, you are male, and if you want to emphasiye your feminine part, that´s perfectly fine. Hope your health issues will get better soon!
I've been struggling with this too. I have OCD and it makes me doubt everything. Whenever I do something feminine, I'm like "Oh shit I must not be trans then." Well I know I'm trans, I'm just worried that if I keep being more feminine, I'll eventually grow out of being trans. Not being trans would be way easier, but I would no longer be myself. I would lose a part of who I am. It would be like getting a lobotomy, and that scares me.
Man... that hits home. Yes, while I feel sort of scared and unsure about realizing I'm trans, it feels even worse to think of pushing that out of my mind again. It threw me into spirals of depression and self destructive behavior, and I don't plan on losing myself again. You're still you, no matter what. You are strong and can overcome this! I have faith in you -- Thank you everyone, your responses have given me more strength and confidence in myself <3
If a cis guy puts on a dress, he's a guy in a dress. If a trans guy does the same thing, why is he suddenly "not a guy"? Double standard, isn't it? I think that, because there are so many masculine trans guys out there, it's easy for guys like us to feel like we're doing the trans thing wrong. The vast majority of trans guys I've met are the dudeliest of the dudes, which is perfectly fine - but not really relatable, for me. That's why I questioned myself for so long. But here's the thing - the dysphoria is still there. The need to be seen as a guy is still there. And there's a big difference between being a "feminine" guy and being a woman. I tried being a woman - it didn't feel authentic. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about!
As others have said, being on the feminine side doesn't make you less of a guy. Who you are inside matters, not what you like or how you express (which is largely based on draconian stereotypes anyway). Funnily enough, I actually became more feminine the more comfortable I became with my identity as male. I like Kpop, do yoga, watch baking shows, and take ballet. I wear clothes bought in the women's section. So what? A couple years ago I would have avoided these things religiously because I was living by a stereotype that men have to workout, like hard rock music, play violent video games, and call each other bro all the time. Bottom line, don't let other people's views about who you should be affect how you live. Enjoy the things you enjoy. Men come in all forms, being trans doesn't make there be special rules for how to be a man.
