Hey guys, I've posted about this before but I need to vent right now. I'm really feeling lost and wish I could move forward with my life. I'm desperately seeking change, yet my depression continues to get in the way of me moving forward. Most days, every small task feels like a major chore. I just want to lay in bed and ignore the world. It's been a long time since I was happy, and I just want to feel better. I feel like l have little control over my own life. I still live at home with family, and I think it would be best if I lived on my own or at least with a roommate. However, the depression makes me feel little motivation to seriously go back to work. Right now, I am taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist. I've been taking meds for nearly 3 years now. I've tried almost every single brand of anti-depressant at different dosages, yet I continue to just sort of lag along. I don't know what to do anymore and sometimes I just want to give up. This situation really makes me feel hopeless. Can somebody please help me or give me some advice? I could really use it...
Hey my friend. First, I am really glad you are seeing a therapist and, if they recommended it, trying different medications. Adherence is big. It can take weeks for it to kick in as well, even if one takes it properly. I don't want to assume, so I will ask. Are you communicating all of this, and the lack of the effect of medication, to your therapist? Are they helpful? If not, share how. If it is really bad, consider a different one. No harm, no foul. Doesn't have to be personal. Are they LGBT friendly? A huge part of therapy is the connection you have. How is that? Do you have a support network? Who do you go to, outside of this forum, who you can be 'you' with and talk openly? Finally, and most importantly, you mentioned that you felt hopeless. I want to ask: are you thinking of harming or killing yourself? If you are thinking about it, please recognize that, like any other medical issue, this is something you need to seek help for. With it being behavioral, it can be hard to recognize, but it is something we may need help with. No shame in this. But please, consider it if so. Hope to help! Chat back when you have time. I know I threw a lot at you.
Hey Kenaz, Sorry I'm replying back so late. I hope you find this. I did discuss the lack of effect of the medications to my therapist, but I'm also seeing a psychiatrist so there's not really any reason to go in-depth about my meds to my therapist. I think my therapist has been good so far. I haven't discussed any LGBT issues with him outside of telling him I'm gay two weeks ago. I don't really have a support network outside of Empty Closets or my therapist. Sometimes I do feel suicidal because I just feel so jaded about everything and I just feel like nothing matters anymore. I've never harmed myself nor have I ever carried out a plan. I just want some relief from the pain I carry inside. I don't really know how to reach out to anybody outside of the internet. I usually feel emotionally exhausted and I just shut down and retreat into myself. Anyways, I hope to hear back from you! And anybody else if they want to chime in.
