Have you changed your appearance since accepting your sexuality?

It's obviously going to depend on the person. I know a lot of people who felt pressured to be feminine, so they go more masculine as it feels freeing. That is fine.

In my case, I've always been a lazy tomboy even before I knew I was same-sex attracted. The main reason I decided to go more feminine is that I'm started to enjoy looking nice now that I have the confidence to start dating. And now I don't have the pressure to look nice for men, but for women. I prefer feminine women, so I feel I need to put the same effort in my appearance. It feels freeing to feel like I can be more feminine and still not identify as straight. But those are my reasons.

 

@Bernice Yes indeed.

 

If ever I decide to explore this side of life, I would want to do something to change my own appearance. Not sure what or how. I can see why people do so because its almost like a symbolic transition from one life to another.

 

I've cut my hair and I'm going to dye it soon. I also want to get my ears pierced and/or get a tattoo.

 

I have consciously tried to keep my hair long. Someone mentioned above that they have become more feminine than before. Same here...

 

Yes, I have. It started after an unconnected life event at the end of 2015, combined with finally feeling free of the emotions that had surrounded me during my divorce. After both events, I became determined to live my life as "me" and to not be afraid to do so. Or rather, to accept the fear and just do what I wanted anyway because life was too short. This experienced a big blip as the fallout from the two events was bigger than I thought and I ended up a bit of a mess and started seeing a psychologist last October. Plus I now understand that there was this issue of my sexuality that hadn't been addressed and accepted then. However, since April when I started making some major progress, I have completely changed.

If it is not bright, I won't be wearing it! I have yellows and pinks and bright blues and lime greens where there used to be maroons and browns. My hair is multi coloured and is over half a metre long! I have vowed to keep growing it until it reaches my bum, then I'll have a think about what to do. I may well go to the other extreme!

I wear dresses. Bright dresses. I used to wear what I would call conventional clothing, things that helped me blend in with everyone else - boring clothes I feel (boring for me, that is!). Now I search out the boldest, loudest, prettiest dresses that I can find. When I'm with others they tend to steer me in the direction of what they feel is suitable, "look at this nice dress" they'll say, "It's lovely and classic" and I'll think, "BORING!" and ignore them - which is a good thing. I gave far too much credence to other people's opinions in the past.

I was very overweight when I started therapy which made me want to hide myself even more. And there was the issue of the psychological weight I've mentioned in another thread that helped keep me nice and hidden.

I still care about being seen, and I'm quire paranoid about being noticed, but I've developed a determination to express my authentic self that changed all that, and is continuing to do so. Even more so now I've realised who I am sexually! I feel even more that I want to go ways in my clothing, hair etc. that I haven't so far.

 

Not stupid at all. I was wondering as well.

 

Hey Bernice and curicat,
In a nutshell, it's basically a person who you realize you have romantic and/or sexual feelings for that makes you go, "Hey! Am I gay?". Or bi or somehow not straight. They start the ball rolling on your questioning. Make sense?
Not everyone has one but they're quite common around here.

 

About the catalyst... There was also a thread some time ago where people talked of their 'trigger crush' or 'trigger'. That person (whether it's a favourite celebrity, a coworker or a best friend people end up marrying) triggers or catalyses this whole transformation that turns our lives upside down.

 

I also got more feminine. I still dress tomboyish I guess but I wear makeup and have super super long hair (I think I really need a hair cut my hair extends the full length of my back XD). When I was younger I had short hair and only wore boys clothes. I think I dress a lot more "me" now.

 

Yeah, I got my hair cut short to a pixie cut and started wearing trousers/jeans a lot more. I still like to look a bit feminine though - lots of jewellery and a tiny bit of make-up. Occasionally I wear nail varnish. I've never been a girly girl though and always feel best wearing jeans, a t-shirt and Dr Martens! I'm considering tattoos but that's not to look more gay, that's because I have some self harm scars from many many years ago that I feel I want to get covered up.