Hey guys, I'm Anna, 26 years old and since already one year I'm having sex with one of my gay friends on a weekly basis. It started out of fun, but now I feel that I really like this guy and felt in love with him. The problem is that he identifies himself as gay, not even bisexual, which confuses me a lot, as I don't really understand our relationship to each other. I don't want to lose him as a friend, why I don't dare to tell him about my feelings. How should I deal with this situation? What would you do?
You could ask him why he still wants to have sex with you if he is gay. I think your fear of losing him as a friend may be extreme; he should know you could develop feelings for him. Also, you could just stop having sex with him so you reduce the physical intimacy that keeps fueling your love, but even then you may not have a resolution until you talk about your love.
If he identifies as gay, then unfortunately this is a dead-end for you, because even if it's not true he's still communicating that he doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. If I were you, I would stop having sex with him, explain that you just want to be friends without sexual involvement, and then distance yourself some if you have to so that you can move on and find someone who wants to be with you.
Hey there, I could be blinded by ignorance... but sometimes you really are "that exception". Someone could be straight and just have that one same-sex partner they fall in love with, and sometimes gay people really do have the exception of about one straight relationship they really feel romantically attracted to. In other words, ask. Inquire whether he feels at all romantically interested in you, if not I'd recommend distancing yourself from a physical relationsip. Don't take my word as gospel, just going by what I've read. Peace and good luck figuring this out.
