Hi everyone, new account here. I'm a young but very sexually active woman who is officially 'straight' to most people (partly because I come from a homophobic family). However I have always had a deep interest in girls, and to myself I am bisexual. I have a boyfriend, with whom I have a great relationship, but he knows that I'm into girls. This isn't a problem except for the sex life; he knows that I would really love to experiment with girls. I would love to do this, even with him in a threesome or something, but there's one problem: I have never orgasmed with my boyfriend. I feel like I am still lying to myself about my sexual preferences; maybe I should only be with girls. But, I have never been with a girl, and I love my boyfriend. So, the problem is that if he would see me orgasm with a girl, he would feel bad about himself. My sexual feelings for certain girls are so great that even just the thought can nearly trigger an orgasm. What especially prompted the writing of this post is a wet dream I had last night. I orgasmed in my sleep, from a dream involving two attractive young women who were flirting with me. The mere sight of them had me extremely aroused. Every time I am intimate with my boyfriend, I need to imagine I am with a girl, in order to truly enjoy it. It's especially nice when I'm on top, and I can trick myself into feeling as though I am penetrating him. (So, I am quite sure that I am really a lesbian, but I am still afraid to face that. There's too many other things going on in my life right now.) I'm posting this because I'm wondering if there are any bisexuals out there who can orgasm equally with both genders. Or if there's anyone who has the same problem as me; are you only able to orgasm with one of the genders, even if you are attracted to both? What is the best way to solve this problem? Should I admit to my boyfriend that only a girl can make me c*m? Would that completely break his ego? Should we go ahead with a threesome? Even if he suddenly then realises that I am much more satisfied in bed with girls than I am with him? Or do you have any practical advice on how a sexually adventurous bisexual girl can have an orgasm with a pretty normal straight guy? Such as, what would be the best position? Lots of love to you all, you are brave and beautiful people <3
Hey welcome to EC. I know this is probably not what you want to hear right now but this part you wrote above is quite concerning. I know you don't really want to think about or face the fact you might be gay right now but I think it is something you should consider more. Nobody can tell you for sure what your sexuality is but having to imagine your with someone else when your with your partner is not a sign of a healthy relationship regardless of orientation. I think you need to deal with your relationship and orientation before having any kind of threesome. Have you have sexual relationships other guys or is he the only one?
This is projection on your part - u don't know this. If he loves u, he might be happy to see u orgasming w a woman! I'm bisexual, & I orgasm w w or m equally. As u say you're sexually active, I assume that means you've masturbated to orgasm …just not w your bf. Consider teaching your bf how to make u orgasm. If a man is skilled sexually, he can probably make a woman orgasm by penetration or cunnilingus. I'd start w him masturbating u. If u can't orgasm w him, u may be more lesbian than bisexual. Experiment … have fun!
I'm inclined to agree with Silverhalo. If only women can make you orgasm, it calls into question whether you are truly bisexual. Now, that said, it is quite possible you simply haven't found a guy that knows how to excite you sexually. But if this continues to happen, and orgasm happens only with women, it's hard to argue that you're bisexual, at least as the term is usually understood.
Hi! Perhaps your boyfriend is just not doing a very good job at getting you off. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's an estimated only 30% of women who can get off without clitoral stimulation. Is he stimulating this area? If not, then that could be your problem. Also you can be nice about requesting him to do certain things by saying "I like how you did x, but could you try x instead?" But there is also a strong possibility that you may be a lesbian. Are you attracted to him at all? edit: I should mention that I have not had sex with another person before. But I'd say through masturbation, it takes me a bit less time to get off thinking of women than it does men. Roughly the same, though.
I consider myself bisexual and although I don't have too much experience with either gender, I have fantasized about both women and men and been able to orgasm without having to focus on a certain gender. Although I must say it's usually easier for me to think about women, so it doesn't have to be equal. However, if the thought of a man never is enough to make you orgasm, then you're probably more on the gay end of the spectrum, in my opinion.
I think you should seriously consider that you are gay or as mentioned above at least on the gay end of the spectrum. I have experience with both genders and I don't even have a preference as far as I know. I am in the middle of the spectrum.
Try to change the techniques you two use in sex and see if you can orgasm without the need of the thought of women. If it doesn't work, you should really think about the possibility that you might not be attracted to him.
I'm bisexual, have dated guys but never had sex with them... I've orgasmed thinking about a guy but I've only been with a woman sexually so far and I have NO problem doing that with her . Don't rush, try some of the advice from the people who are much more knowledgeable than I and relax. Find yourself.
