The pride parade in my nearest city is at the start of August and I'm planning to go to it. However there's a slight hitch, my parents cannot know that I am going. It seemed like it would be easy enough to pull off, just say that I am going to an exhibition or something but I've been thinking about it more and I'm getting super stressed. What of they find out that pride is on the same day? How do I stop them from finding out that I was there? I'm always worried that they'll find out about this aspect of my life. Does anyone have any advise on precautions to take to stop them from finding out? I really really want to go to pride. Any tips on how to hide these things in general would be appreciated as well as my phone and room are regularly inspected. Thank you so much! Shibh
One thing to consider is this... Pride attendance doesn't mean one is gay or queer. You could be in the city, and happen to see a parade, and be near it or within 'it.'
The only problem is that my mam is suspicious of me being queer so I need to avoid bringing up anything related to it at all costs
How old are you? Do you rely on your parents for housing, income, and basic well-being and sustenance? I certainly don't want to suggest anything that would cause that to come into risk.
I'm 16 and yes. I don't think anything drastically bad would happen if I were outed, it would just make things a bit harder. I live in a small conservative area where it's a taboo subject so going to Pride for the first time is really important to me
Pride is certainly liberating. It's meant to be a place where people can be unapologetically themselves, and let the world know they are there, we are there. However, I can understand your concern. Being 16, in a conservative area, where I assume being 'outed' could cause a lot of stress. That's not good either. It sounds like you are feeling torn between the feeling of freedom and expression by going to Pride, but also the possibility you could be outed. That is tough. I would suggest writing down, or journaling, about each situation. What are the risks vs. benefits of going, and not going? Perhaps journal as if you went, and were outed. If you went, and were not outed. Ultimately, either decision, like any decision is yours and the consequences should be considered.
... cont I'm going to give it some hard thought and talk to some friends who are going and see if we can sort something out. Fingers crossed I end up going and having a wonderful time. Your pros and cons idea is good so I'll give that a try
Hey Shibh, Since you have a major concern with being involuntarily Outed, I'd also suggest that if you go to that Pride event that you try to modify your appearance because you never know what pictures from the event might be put online or in a newspaper which your parents or someone that they know (and knows you) might see. It could be simple things like facepainting and doing your hair in a style that is not your 'normal' style. Just some thoughts.
Hey there! I was in this situation last month for my local pride. I didn't really participate but I found a good excuse to be in the city and I went to watch the parade. Here is what I did. I really did the things I told them I was doing so you could for example really quickly go visit an exhibition and take some pictures to show them how much you liked/disliked it. And then I told my parents that the streets were all blocked and it was difficult to get to the store because guess what, it was pride parade. I told them a little bit about it and said it was cool to watch and they didn't suspect a thing because usually when people try to hide things, they won't be this in your face about it. This way I didn't have to worry about people seeing me and talking about it later or things like that I'm not saying you should do this at all because you mentioned your mom being suspicious so that might not be the best idea. Your safety is the most important thing and you should be able to come out on your own terms but I thought I'd just suggest it because it worked perfectly for me.
Yeah That's a really good idea, I'll bring face paints and a spare T-shirt. I'll wear my spare glasses as well as mine are very noticeable
I'm thinking of telling her that I'm going to an event in the city university, I go up there alot so it wouldn't be unusual plus it's really near where the parade will be so I can use your idea and take some pics around the place