1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Sneaking to pride?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Shibh, Jul 13, 2017.

  1. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The pride parade in my nearest city is at the start of August and I'm planning to go to it. However there's a slight hitch, my parents cannot know that I am going.

    It seemed like it would be easy enough to pull off, just say that I am going to an exhibition or something but I've been thinking about it more and I'm getting super stressed. What of they find out that pride is on the same day? How do I stop them from finding out that I was there?
    I'm always worried that they'll find out about this aspect of my life.
    Does anyone have any advise on precautions to take to stop them from finding out? I really really want to go to pride.
    Any tips on how to hide these things in general would be appreciated as well as my phone and room are regularly inspected.
    Thank you so much!
    Shibh
     
  2. Kenaz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    One thing to consider is this...

    Pride attendance doesn't mean one is gay or queer. You could be in the city, and happen to see a parade, and be near it or within 'it.'
     
  3. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The only problem is that my mam is suspicious of me being queer so I need to avoid bringing up anything related to it at all costs
     
  4. Kenaz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    How old are you? Do you rely on your parents for housing, income, and basic well-being and sustenance?

    I certainly don't want to suggest anything that would cause that to come into risk.
     
  5. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm 16 and yes. I don't think anything drastically bad would happen if I were outed, it would just make things a bit harder. I live in a small conservative area where it's a taboo subject so going to Pride for the first time is really important to me
     
  6. Kenaz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Pride is certainly liberating. It's meant to be a place where people can be unapologetically themselves, and let the world know they are there, we are there. However, I can understand your concern. Being 16, in a conservative area, where I assume being 'outed' could cause a lot of stress. That's not good either.

    It sounds like you are feeling torn between the feeling of freedom and expression by going to Pride, but also the possibility you could be outed. That is tough. I would suggest writing down, or journaling, about each situation. What are the risks vs. benefits of going, and not going? Perhaps journal as if you went, and were outed. If you went, and were not outed.

    Ultimately, either decision, like any decision is yours and the consequences should be considered.
     
    #6 Kenaz, Jul 13, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2017
    Myclosetisfull and Shibh like this.
  7. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thank you so much for the advice!
     
  8. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    ... cont
    I'm going to give it some hard thought and talk to some friends who are going and see if we can sort something out. Fingers crossed I end up going and having a wonderful time. Your pros and cons idea is good so I'll give that a try
     
    Kenaz likes this.
  9. Kenaz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Glad it was helpful!
     
  10. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Shibh,

    Since you have a major concern with being involuntarily Outed, I'd also suggest that if you go to that Pride event that you try to modify your appearance because you never know what pictures from the event might be put online or in a newspaper which your parents or someone that they know (and knows you) might see. It could be simple things like facepainting and doing your hair in a style that is not your 'normal' style.

    Just some thoughts.
     
  11. LunaMare

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    70
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey there! I was in this situation last month for my local pride. I didn't really participate but I found a good excuse to be in the city and I went to watch the parade. Here is what I did. I really did the things I told them I was doing so you could for example really quickly go visit an exhibition and take some pictures to show them how much you liked/disliked it. And then I told my parents that the streets were all blocked and it was difficult to get to the store because guess what, it was pride parade. I told them a little bit about it and said it was cool to watch and they didn't suspect a thing because usually when people try to hide things, they won't be this in your face about it. This way I didn't have to worry about people seeing me and talking about it later or things like that

    I'm not saying you should do this at all because you mentioned your mom being suspicious so that might not be the best idea. Your safety is the most important thing and you should be able to come out on your own terms but I thought I'd just suggest it because it worked perfectly for me.
     
    #11 LunaMare, Jul 14, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2017
  12. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yeah
    That's a really good idea, I'll bring face paints and a spare T-shirt. I'll wear my spare glasses as well as mine are very noticeable
     
  13. Shibh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm thinking of telling her that I'm going to an event in the city university, I go up there alot so it wouldn't be unusual plus it's really near where the parade will be so I can use your idea and take some pics around the place
     
  14. LunaMare

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    70
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Awesome, glad I could help! Enjoy pride!!!!!!