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The denial is real

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Ashlee Greene, Jul 10, 2017.

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  1. Ashlee Greene

    Ashlee Greene
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    He knows part of it. When I realized i was attracted to her, I immediately told him. I asked him if he'd allow me to have sex with her, he said yes. Her and I went out (outside of work) and I asked her if she was interested to have sex, she neither said yes or no...but we went out a couple of more times (coffee etc), and she took some selfies of us on my phone. I think at that point, we both got carried away by our mutual attraction. The husband saw the pictures and did NOT like it at all. He said it looked like we were a couple etc. I think we had only hugged, not even kissed. He said I was not allowed to do anything with her, but it was ok with some white femme And he had to chose her... like ok.....
    I kind of became sexually frustrated at that point, because just being near her would cause me to become very very aroused and pardon the detail, extremely wet...like never in my life. I'm honestly not sure when my husband and I's sex life became dead, because he had ED, which he avoided speaking about/ doing anything about.
    So I maintained text messaging with her. She would often turn the messages sexual. He knows we were messaging, but never asked.
    My husband and I recently separated because it's just been dead, and we've been room mates, and I discovered he was secretive about recent debt. We talked about our marriage and he said he noticed I was more absent after having fallen in love with her.
    Once he moved out, I started having sex with her. This is the part he does not know about.
     
    #21 Ashlee Greene, Jul 12, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
  2. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    It sounds like your marriage would probably have ended at some point regardless of her but that the timing of it hasn't been escalated by your connection with her. Inly you can decide whether you want to tell him you are sleeping with her as Peterpangirl said or whether you are ok with him finding out through someone else. It sounds like he may have a good idea if he knows you were already in love with her.

    I suppose one thing I am wondering isn't what would you like to happen next?
     
    #22 silverhalo, Jul 12, 2017
  3. Ashlee Greene

    Ashlee Greene
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    Wait so why is him finding out an option? Not that I'd have feelings for him, because he really managed to crush the feelings I, as a cerebral person, ever had for him. It's just like shitty for him to know and then fall into depression? Idk
     
    #23 Ashlee Greene, Jul 12, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
  4. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Well I'm not saying that he will find out for sure but I guess it depends how long you think it will go on for and whether you think you can keep it a secret forever?
     
    #24 silverhalo, Jul 12, 2017
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