So I'm sure this might sound crazy to some but I'm still totally in the closet as being gay/lesbian but I just cannot hide anymore. I'm ready to come out. But I am currently in a relationship with this really great guy I trust him fully but I can't keep leading him on like this anymore I feel so bad. He doesn't deserve it. He's a great man I just cannot get romantically or sexually attracted to him no matter how hard I've tried. I think if I came out to him he would be accepting but I'm just not sure how to do it... any advice?
Its going to be hard, and it may not come out the way you plan it in your head, but the sooner you sit him down and just be honest with him, the better. You can do it!
Hey @Livefree92 I totally agree with @Breezey. This is going to be a tough conversation. My advice is to write everything down that you want to say to him. I find it helps me before having a difficult conversation. As embarrassing as it is, I also find playing out different scenarios in my mind also helpful, that way I'm prepared for all eventualities! I think you should be very proud that you're not taking the easy route out. It would be simple to just break-up with him and make some lame excuse, but as you say, if he is truly a great guy then I think it would be great for you to tell him the truth. Not to be pessimistic/ worry you, but you should also prepare yourself for him to not take the news very well. Don't let this dishearten you. I have found when telling people I'm gay that there is not always a lot of logical thinking from the person, and they often just blurt out words which (most of the time) they later end up regret having said. Hopefully if you've got a really great rapport with this guy, it'll be absolutely fine and you may even be able to have a great friendship between you. Good luck, I'm sure it'll work out fine! Minsy
It is much better to have the real reason behind a breakup. One can twist into knots or tear into pieces over believing the wrong reason, even if that little white lie seemed like an easier way to let someone down. And no reason (being ghosted) is worst: all the resources of your imagination start weaving (wrong) explanations. Well you wouldn't be like that, this whole thread shows you are better than that. And if you like his company he must be good too. Do the right thing. I've been in this guy's position before, and my reaction has been "Well that's just good news for somebody else." I hope it goes as smoothly for you.
Thank you so much! @Breezey @Minsy @beenthrdonetht I really appreciate all the advice y'all gave. I did it!! Was totally honest with him and everything worked out great! Of course he pretty much went full circle with a bunch of different emotions but in the end he completely understands, accepts me, is proud of me, and we are gonna remain friends. Huge weight lifted off my shoulders!
