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How do I ask my family to use the correct name and pronouns?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ren Tanner, Jul 8, 2017.

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  1. Ren Tanner

    Ren Tanner
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2017
    Messages:
    2
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    Location:
    Washington, USA
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My family knows I go by a different name and I don't identify as female, but they still use my birth name and she pronouns. It really bothers me when the introduce me to someone using my birth name and referring to me as their 'daughter' or 'sister'. I've never really talked about it with them before and I don't know if they will take me seriously when I try to explain it to them. They are open allies to the lgbtq community, but they're still ignorant to some of the finer details.

    Any advice on how to talk about this?
     
    #1 Ren Tanner, Jul 8, 2017
  2. astriferous

    astriferous
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2017
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think you have to plainly and clearly identify the needs that are not being met, so that there is no confusion on their part about what you need from them to feel respected. It's up to you whether to bring this up casually when everyone's in the same room or whether to actually tell them all that you need to talk to them seriously about something. They know you're not female, but haven't heard what you need them to do, so you just need to make it known what bothers you and what they can change, like "hey, it really bothers me when I'm called [x] because that's not what I am, it would be a huge help if you called me [y] instead"
     
    #2 astriferous, Jul 9, 2017
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