Personally, I don't believe in it. I believe in lust and infatuation at first sight, but not love. In fact, I can't even really wrap my head around it. How can you love a person you don't know? I don't think you can. You can love the way they look, or the idea of them, but if you don't know the person then you can't love them. Not really. I've heard people talk about it, about how they looked into someone's eyes and just knew, and while I think it's sweet, I can't help but disagree. I mean, aside from the fact that we can't ever really know for sure that anything's going to happen a certain way, what if you found something out about them, big or small, that you just couldn't stand? What if they'd done something once that, after finding out about it, you couldn't forgive them for? If you don't know a person, then you can't love them. Love - real love, and not infatuation - comes with learning about a person. It comes with learning their ticks and their quirks, little things that they don't notice, and things that changed their life. You have to know those things to know them, and most certainly to love them. Otherwise, you've fallen for looks, ideas, or a facade they put on. That's what I believe, anyway. (I'd like to note that I'm commenting on the love at first sight that references someone you don't know, and not someone you've just never met in person, because I believe the latter is possible.)
I don't suppose I would except that it happened to me. I had been around the block plenty of times by the time I met my husband and thought I had a pretty good idea what was possible, and then I met him. And there was this sort of shock of recognition like "oh, that's HIM." I don't know that we both knew at first sight but by the end of that first night we both definitely did. He was just about as jaded as I was and I don't know which of us was more surprised/horrified when we started talking LTR the next morning. He had a party he was gong to that day, a somewhat formal thing and he had RSVP'd unaccompanied and as he apologized I remember my saying "that's alright, you'll take me next year" and he responded "I will won't I? What the hell's going on here." We're coming up on twenty years.
I don't believe in it the way people describe it. I think realistically, love at first sight would mean that you lusted at first sight and then eventually grew to love them with time. I don't believe you can feel true love at first sight though, It's just attraction that develops. Actually, my bigger pet peeve is when people think you can't love someone who doesn't love you back romantically. You have to be together to feel love. Doesn't make much sense to me. The only thing that felt close to real love for me was someone who didn't share those feelings. But at the same time, I also knew this person for 10 years. I know their personality, I know their secrets, I know their flaws, I know their family. If I said that I loved them platonically, nobody would bat an eye. Love doesn't disappear just because different kind of situations are in the mix. Likewise, I have been in relationships with people who DID return my feelings, but I wouldn't have called it love. We were infatuated, and being together for real didn't automatically make it love. We barely knew each other, couldn't stand the flaws that we found out. The definition of romantic love isn't that accurate to most people's experiences.
To be fair, haven't felt IT, but have meet people who originally saw each other reading a book they loved, or doing something they always do, or humming a song they loved, and called that love at first sight which I think is possible. Certainly more realistic than randomly meeting each other's eyes then BAM!!!!
I'd like to believe in it, but I don't think I do. As you guys have said, I don't get how you can LOVE someone without knowing a thing about them. Hell, I have a hard time even being properly attracted to someone before I get to know them!
I've definitely felt lust at first sight. For example, I met a guy in school that I was immediately attracted to. He was tall, handsome, broad shouldered, athletic build, and was very friendly. I was infatuated with him. But once I got to know him I realized there was no way a relationship with him could work out as we were too different in terms of tastes and lifestyles. I agree with you. I think that love can start with mutual feelings of lust at first sight, but it really doesn't start to develop until the two individuals get to know each other on a personal level. Physical attraction can only take you so far. What really dictates whether or not real love will develop is if your personalities click and you have similar beliefs, tastes, etc.
Yes, I believe in it, have experienced it, and I married it But real love is loving the good AND the bad. I had to go through the shit relationships first to be able to love me enough, and understand I need to love the bad (in me and others), before I can experience real love. Then BOOM my wife comes bounding into my life. She's a pain in the tits as much as she is awesome!
