Lately I've been in a downward spiral. I literally have no support. I've been wanting to transition but my mom won't allow it. I can careless honestly. I don't have the money or a job. I start college in a month and a half. I need help
Okay, I had to look back in your posts, but I see you're MTF. With that in mind, I have a few questions and some things that may help. You say you're going to college. Will you be living in a dorm on campus or commuting from home? If you live on campus, you could make a few changes for yourself, especially if you only plan to go home during breaks and holidays. I don't know how long your hair is, but you can buy fairly cheap wigs online and then have them styled or colored however you like. You can also treat yourself to a nice outfit you either keep in your dorm or in your car. Something small just for you. If you'll be driving to and from home, can you get yourself some new clothes, then changed into them when you arrive on campus? Just something that makes you feel a little more like yourself? I'm not sure how this would work in classes, but you could always tell your new friends at school your preferred name. Like, instead of saying "Hi, I'm birth name" you could use your real name, the one that makes you feel the most comfortable. For me, the changes I've made that have helped in being non-binary are to cut my hair short and to start wearing a tight sports bra as well as male clothing. In fact, I got the best shirt yesterday that covers up everything. Now, because you're MTF, I have read a few things you could do that most wouldn't notice but could still make you feel good. 1. wear clear mascara to make your lashes longer but won't mess up when you sweat or anything like that 2. wear a clear nail polish and when folks comment on it, tell them it's the bitter kind to keep you from biting your nails 3. paint your toes any color you like since most won't see them 4. wear a sports bra under your clothes even if you haven't developed yet 5. get yourself a set of clip-on earrings (I think there are magnetic ones as well) 6. find yourself a nice femme ring. Nothing too over the top, but something YOU would wear Small things no one will likely notice but could still make a huge difference in how you feel. I am so sorry you're going through this. I fought for years to express myself while living out home and even after moving out. Now, at 35, I'm finally starting to transition. Do the small things for you and keeping looking forward.
Sadly, the college is local that means there no dorms. As for the appearance, i have shoulder length hair. I wouldn't mind wearing a sports bra. It's been since i tried make up (but then again I'm kinda of a tomboyish mtf) though i wouldn't mind. Thanks for the tips.
