Ok this is going to be awkward but here we go. I lived three years with appendicitis (yep we have great doctors). I used to live with immense pain striking out of nowhere at least once every month and going away after some time. Days or hours. One night it finally prevailed and I felt the worst pain and sickness in my life. I would rather not describe details. Nobody came to help me and I had to wait to 6 am to get help. Only to wait literally whole day with that pain to get some help. Well my operation was succesfull and I should be okay now. But whenever I feel pain close to the area of my scar I'm terrified. I basically get a panic attack and very lively flashbacks of that night. It happened yesterday and I'm still shaken. I sat curled up and kept assuring myself everything is allright for like an hour. It is even possible to get PTSD from physical pain experience? Do you have any idea what else could it be? Thanks for your time.
You can ultimatly get PTSD from any type of event that really leaves an impact on you. I've had experience with physical pain experiences that left somewhat of an impact. Fights, Accident's with ATV's, etc. For me, they went away after awhile. My mind became focused with so many other things. I don't think it's entirely a physical experience; but more of an emotional one. I sense in a way; it was more of a like "I sit here and endure so much pain, and no one comes. Is this what life is? If I am suffering, will it be like this? Will no one come to me when I need someone the most? I don't want to face this alone. I'm afraid to be alone " Thats the impression I get from the experience. Maybe thats whats creating the PTSD; your afraid that you will be alone. So you try to soothe yourself by telling yourself that you're strong; and that you're just fine. I myself was never diagnosed with PTSD; but I defiantly have some traits of it. Hope this helped in a way. If you ever feel the need like you need to talk to someone I'm here. Hope this helped.
@Nocturnal Lord I'm not afraid of being alone, I like it. What I'm afraid of is literally that pain itself. That night I took some pretty desperate actions in order to decrease the pain. I didn't call for help while I could. I didn't want to I wanted to face it alone. In the end I couldn't move or talk. But you see my family knew I'm sick and they had to hear me while I was trying to help myself. I guess it's more about that pain leaving me depending on others. It leaves me deffenseless. However primary I'm afraid of simply feeling it again. Because it hurts just SO much and I can't escape. Thanks for your opinion nontheless.
You answered your own question, as we humans so often do. You have insecurities about having to rely on others and that you are inadequate on your own, but are also simply scared that something so painful can happen again and you won't be able to stop it.
@Myclosetisfull Well yea. But I'm asking why I'm having panic attacks when I feel pain near my scar. It's not okay.
I can't fully explain why you might be feeling this way, but I can completely understand. I don't suffer from PTSD anymore, but I used to due to another event in my life. I think it's possible to have a response like that when you feel pain radiating in that area because it's your strongest memory. It's possibly the first thing your mind goes to when the pain creeps in. I actually suffer from gallstone attacks fairly often because surgeons refuse to handle it until I'm on my knees (basically). Anyway, even when I start to feel the very slight pressure or pain, I panic because I know I'm in for 6-12 hours of agony. I've gotten better at treating the attacks and reacting to them, but they are still a trigger for panic and even emotional breakdowns. I try to tell myself they'll pass, but when they happen the only thing I can think of is the pain and how I want to get rid of it. So, while I haven't had my gallbladder removed, I know that once it is (if ever), I'l continue to react this way whenever I feel pain in that area. I am so sorry you had to suffer for so long and that you're having panic attacks after having it removed. However, I can understand why and wish you the best healing thoughts I can offer.
You have panic attacks because of the fact you are afraid that you are essentially a powerless and insignificant person who can't force other completely unrelated aspects of your life to change and you haven't learned to be happy despite your inability to influence things that are beyond your control, which is also the root of your fear of reliance on others. If you want them to go away, I'm not so sure I can help you with that. A good start is reading everything On The Highway has written about vulnerability and his own insecurity problems, or seeing a professional psychologist. Essentially, you just have to become comfortable with the fact that in some ways we, as humans, are utterly powerless.
@Myclosetisfull Ok I'll look at it. Well I just can't stand the thought that pain just might come back just cause it can. I don't know I'm maybe just paranoid. There's no way it could come back anyway. I'll make it quick, you don't need to think so hard about it. I'm just scared of repeating that day over, over and over again. You have no idea how it was. Back then it came out of nowhere. I don't see why it couldn't strike like that again. There are no such big things about it, I just don't want to go trough that all over again. And you see having a little pain feeling similar at the same area is cataclyst good enough to trigger these simple fears. So yea I guess I know what is wrong,I just don't know what to do about it. As for my reliance on others,I don't really mind that. Relying too much on people is just foolish.
@Cricketsong That's sounds pretty much like what I'm experiencing. It's nice to know there is someone else, although it would be nice if we had common something else. Hm looks like we're scared because we know what's incoming. Or what could be incoming and there's no proof it won't happen again. Well I hope you'll get your operation soon and get better too.
Thank you so much, @DarkWhite I don't think operation is in my future, sadly. I have learned how to manage them, but my anxiety can sometimes create a similar pain, and I immediately expect the worst. So of course I take pain killers, down lemon water, make a cup of tea and draw a hot bath because I expect to be in pain. Sometimes I'm right and other times I'm wrong. I think it's a fight or flight response, you know? It's hard not to react that way when it's caused you so much pain in the past.
@Cricketsong I see, having this caused by anxiety too must be awful. I understand you need to have some things to calm yourself, however I was never a fan of these habits. Also I never took painkillers, I knew I would get addicted to them. Luckily all I have to deal with is basically paranoia. Well I hope you get rid of it soon, it is the worst lottery ever. Also I really agree with your last sentence.
Painkillers are a last resort for me (only take them once a month unless I can tough things out. I don't fear getting addicted, but they are really rough on my stomach, so I tend to not use them unless I have one of the aforementioned attacks (or am on my period).
I'm sure my grandma who suffered instantaneous paralysis from the waist down feels something similar often, as she struggles with walking on her own now instead of being able to kayak and run. I think at least she can try and fight that though she has taken a long time to accept she'll never be able to hike long distances again without a cane. I'm sorry for your problems, but maybe just knowing that appendicitis is normally not a permanent life long condition unlike paralysis can help you get over it? Anyways, paranoia still stands under the learning to be happy, or at least until afraid, when completely powerless to stop yourself from being hurt. I think you'll just have to wait this out, for the most part, psychological trauma seems to fade with time and it is natural to be traumatized by something this painful.
@Myclosetisfull Well I know appendictisis was only temporary however it does help only a little. And I was basically used to live with it so I guess it will take some time. However my operation happened year ago, one would say that's a long time. Maybe it would help knowing why I feel that pain again but I talked with doctor and he said I'm fine. But I'm sure that pain is not in my mind. There is a certain activity which seems to causing the pain, however it's my most favourite hobby and I don't understand why should it be causing the pain when appendictisis isn't physically related.
