"Becoming" asexual and aromantic after a breakup?

Kinda just sounds like you're still depressed from the breakup. Our hormone and chemical levels change when we're in relationships, so breaking up is actually quite literally like going through drug withdrawal on the brain. It's pretty normal to be fatigued and emotionally dissociated for a few weeks to months after a breakup. I'd say if it continues though and becomes nonproductive to your life you might have an issue though, or are experiencing some type of attachment trauma. Take it's slow with your friendships and emotional relationships.

I am capable of being attracted to lots of people and I have a fairly high libido, however, if I'm not emotionally close enough to someone, I will become closed off sexually, feel almost no attraction for them, in almost an asexual/aromantic type way. Also, I have seasonal depression during the winter so for about 4 months of the year I usually experience a complete flatline in sex drive, often feel disgusted at the thoughts of sex, and even by my partner, however I just attribute this to the chemical changes in my depression. For me personally, this doesn't change my attraction, however for some who experience this more erratically / regularly, it could be enough to make someone want to identify as gray-ace or something along those lines I suppose. Give yourself time and judge it as you see fit.

 

It's still early days and you need to be kind to yourself and take time to recover and heal. I'm sure the last four months have been long and painful but all of that hurt should diminish in the fullness of time. At this stage it would be quite normal for you to have little motivation or interest in romance and sex. Don't push yourself too hard or jump to hasty conclusions and incorrect thoughts about asexuality.

 

You can't become aro ace after a breakup, but you can suffer depression that is strong enough to remove the natural desires until you move on.

 

actually I'm facing a guy who has similar condition like yours. It has been four months that I'm trying to break down his wall, and it is not easy at all. He ended his last relationship near at the end of last year and ever since then he said that he turned to become aromantic. To extent that he is afraid of any intimacy, like for example once he went for a blind date and the other guy touched his hand, he got freaked out. So during this past four years I would describe describe our relationship is like partner, partner in everything because we ended up working together and almost see each other everyday. During these four months, I tried to 'seduce' him, but he is still hesitated and awkward. And regarding our status, he still cant give confirmation what our status is despite I feels like we do what a couple do usually and generally. We fought many times before, because I was seeking for affirmation from him but at the end what I did just increase the wall higher and probably I have to restart everything again. Then sometimes I feel he treats me badly on purpose maybe to test me out or seek that I will leave him or not. Actually I became quite insecure too, maybe he is just not into me...he once told me that actually, he is not into me but afraid if I leave.

Anyway, sorry for telling this complicated story, but I see that you have something similar with him so maybe you can relate to him and we can share some advices.