My daughter is 13 and was not ready to come out. She had only told me and three friends. Somehow another kid found out and told a bunch of people a few days after school let out. She is crushed and scared about how to handle this when school starts, and wondering what to do over the summer. Please direct me to a thread or post advice for what she can do. Also looking for group support or counseling in NYC for her age group.
For support and counseling, look at PFLAG. I'm lazy and won't link, but a simple google search will find it for you. It really sucks that this happened to her. Maybe direct her to this site as well, it's mostly intended to be friendly to young-ish audiences
Thanks a lot - I will look into PFLAG. I've brought up this site to her a while ago - maybe she will try it now. She certainly needs shoring up and to hear from others that she will get through this.
Contact school staff and give them a heads up before she starts also. Bullying is illegal, and in the case of someone who is LGBT, it's also a hate crime.
First off, I'm sorry that this happened. People do not get that this isnsomething personal. You are doing the right thing by reaching out. It's tough when all control is ripped from you when you are coming out. I would make it clear to her that if she has any problems that she either can come to you or talk to a trusted school official. I also would encourage her to join here. There are a lot of people that have had to go through similar situations. I would also see if there is a local LGBT center in your area. If there is, then I would call them. They will be able to give you some local resources. Even if the center is further away, they may still be able to provide resources in your area.
Thank you. Yes, she feels so overwhelmed and powerless at the moment. Her privacy and dignity were violated and the schedule has now been pushed up so many months/years. I really appreciate your message and I will reach out for more support. I think talking with others who've been through similar situations will, like you say, be very valuable.
Hey welcome to EC, it's so sad that happened to your daughter but she will come through this and she will be ok. I agree with the other posters about the support groups and such. I am assuming her 3 friends know this has happened, are they at the same school? Hopefully they can supply so,e support.
Thanks a lot for your message. All the friends are at the same school; one of them is the one who spilled the beans and feels bad about it now. My daughter is working through the feelings of hurt and betrayal and loss of trust.
Yes that's understandable. I had a similar situation kind of situation when I was coming out although not as bad as I was older and not as bothered about other people knowing and I wasn't in a school environment. I told a friend and she then told another mutual friend. She didn't do it intentionally and I think sometimes or certainly with my friend she was so supportive and accepting of it that it just didn't seem like such a big thing to her. I know it won't happen overnight but if your daughters friend really did do it by accident if possible I would hope she would be able to give her friend another chance.
