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Struggling to come out to therapist

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Old Soul, Jun 28, 2017.

  1. Old Soul

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    Hey everyone,

    So I've been seeing a therapist since April 25th. He's been good, but I've had trouble trying to get myself to come out to him. In fact, my last appointment with him was yesterday and I just started crying and saying that I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders and that there were certain issues I was struggling to open up to him about. I felt bad for not being straightforward with him b/c it doesn't help either of us. It's just...I have trouble talking about it without crying or feeling very uncomfortable and awkward. I guess I have some deep-seeded, unresolved internal conflicts in regards to being gay. I've been in denial about this...I haven't talked about it with anyone irl. I wish I was beyond this point.

    However, my therapist assured me that there's plenty of time for me to open up about more problems I'm dealing with that I don't want to right now. :relaxed:

    So I guess my I'm looking for some advice on how to get through this stage. I don't want to feel this way forever.
     
  2. Cory675

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    You don't have to open up about everything at once. You disclose to your therapist what you want, when you're ready to do it.
    Given you've already been seeing him for 2 months, I think the best thing would be for you to just spit it out. There isn't a right or wrong way to tell something to your therapist. The therapist is the professional; you just have to say what's going on. If you cry, you cry. If you feel awkward, you feel awkward, just say it. The therapist's office is the place where it's all supposed to come out. It's totally safe.
    Perhaps it's just that you're uncomfortable with this particular therapist. That happens, it's nothing personal, sometimes the therapist just isn't a good match for you, in which case you can try to find another therapist.
     
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  3. Humbly Me

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    Do you feel safe with this therapist? Do you think they would breach your privacy?
    If the answers are Yes and then No just say it. Or hand him a note and just let yourself start crying. If the answers are not as a listed earlier, I would ask your parents for a new therapist.
     
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  4. Ruby Dragon

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    I like Myclosetisfull's suggestion of handing him a note. With my previous psychiatrist, I was too embarrassed and forgetful to list all the things I wanted to talk about, so as I thought about more things, I typed it out. I eventually handed him a two-page essay, lol. So you could try that too and see if it'll make things easier for you. And if you end up crying, that's perfectly fine. They're used to seeing their patients cry because that's what they're there for: To listen to problems and give guidance
     
  5. johndeere3020

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    I cried like a baby, I was 44 years old. They can't help if they don't know what your going through on the inside.

    Good Luck Dean
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    I agree with the idea of writing it down. It sounds like you just need to find a way to cross the hurdle and once you've done that your therapist will be able to begin the process of asking you about it.
     
  7. silverhalo

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    When I was first coming out I had to do it via message because I couldn't say the words out loud so don't worry about that it's completely normal. So it's crying, it's very emotional and sometimes it's best to just let it out.
     
  8. OnTheHighway

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    The therapist is an extension of yourself. Telling your therapist is like reaffirming to yourself what you already feel. At the same time, it is a significant measure of vulnerability to open up that way, because you are opening up to yourself. As others have said, there is no rush. When your ready, you will know.
     
  9. beagle

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    hi old soul,

    I just strated therapy and the whole sexuality has come up but haven't said i am gay to him either. As your therapist said you have plenty of time to open up but as the others have suggested writting it down and handing it over, i know it feels like that last brick in your wall being taken down but therapist are cofidential also remember that. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Old Soul

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    Hey guys! Sorry i'm replying soo late.

    I don't think he's a bad therapist. I just have difficulty opening up to others about myself. I have no trouble helping other people out with their problems, but I tend to neglect myself. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm struggling with depression. I feel lost in all areas of my life and it really frustrates me. I know I need some change but the depression is causing me to be so indecisive, therefore unable to figure out what to do in order to move forward. Most days, I just want to lay in bed and ignore the world. I also want to get my own place, but feel too mentally and physically exhausted to get a job right now. It really sucks and just makes me feel soo hopeless. :worried: