What is the likelihood?

So basically EC is saved on my laptop as a frequently visited page. When you open up chrome its front and center. I walked into the living room today and low and behold my mom was on my laptop searching the web. EC is literally my only search right now cause I usually clear my searches everyday. If she typed anything in the search bar the link to the website would have popped up. Whats the likelihood she saw it? If she saw something she didnt say anything cause people were over. Is this a good enough reason to come out or do I just wait and see if she asks me anything? I have almost outed myself so many times in so many ways via books, tv choices and just the way I talk so its obvious shes suspicious of something. If she saw this website it would be the final piece to the puzzle. I dont really know how to feel about it. What do I do? Do I get up the courage to talk about how I feel or wait till she comes to me?

 

My biggest fear is that I will somehow "change my mind" and then discover I'm not gay. The embarrassment of coming out and being wrong about myself would be immense. That is the only reason I don't want to come out to my mom. My dad is a different story because of his family but hats beside the point. I dunno, I'm confident that I like girls but there's this voice at the back of my head making me paranoid that maybe one day I'll decide I don't.

 

So do you suggest I come out just saying that I like girls and not ruling out guys? Gay feels so right but I am afraid it's a "phase". Ughhhh. If I'm going to come out I want to be 100% confident but I'm not sure if I can ever be 100% lol

 

I feel ya. It's a terrifying thought tbh.

 

I'm so desperate to come out you have no idea. I'm just so afraid. If you have seen posts from me before you know that I give absolutely no fucks about the fact that I like girls. I am afraid but I don't know what of. I think it's mostly judgement from others and the fear of being wrong about who I am.

 

Is 16 too young to know for sure? I sometimes feel like it is and maybe for that reason people wouldn't take me seriously as well.

 

I'll try if I dont chicken out again. A couple months ago or maybe last year (I cant remember lol) she asked me if I even liked guys, I freaked out and just blurted out "I hate all humans!!!" and ran away, what is a bigger signifier than that XD. I was freaking out when I came out to my cousin who practically already knew lol so who knows how I would even tell my mother.

 

Ah yes, I am still a fetus! A lot of people tell me I speak like I am a lot older, interesting. I do like to say I am internally and spiritually 35! I really do think my mom would be ok with it, but then again theres that little voice in the back of my head telling me its a mistake to come out. I just have to work out what I need to do to muster up enough courage to come out. I'll get back to you when I figure out what will stop making me overthink everything! (Note me overthinking how to stop overthinking)

 

Also I have a feeling the "hating all humans" situation will be a great story to tell when Im actually out! I think its drop dead hilarious to be honest. Ah the things my mind will do to save my skin!

 

Eh well since you like guys as well I would say you are bi. You can be bi with a preference. My confusion stems from the fact that I have zero attraction to guys. Im only afraid of saying Im a lesbian because I feel like my sexuality could change (unlikely but I like to think of what the worst case scenario for me)

 

It would probably be a good idea to make a new thread for your issue. We seem to be on different pages here lol