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Should I come out to my parents now?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SomeUsername, Jun 24, 2017.

  1. SomeUsername

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    So I was planning on telling my parents I'm trans later since some of my family is going on a trip to the beach soon and I don't want to ruin it. I know they're accepting of trans people but my parents (especially my mom) are very in denial and I think it would be an emotional blow.

    But things have been rough lately. Yesterday I had to go swimsuit shopping with my mom. I lobbied hard to get a fairly unoffensive top and pair of long swimshorts but my mom was insistent that I not get that outfit. My stress-induced digestive problems were acting up and I just wanted to leave so I caved and agreed to get this really feminine one-piece with a short skirt.

    She hasn't taken the tags off of it or washed it yet and I don't want her to. I don't plan on wearing it much and if I had my way I wouldn't even be wearing it to the beach. It's a bit late to return it and get a better suit but I don't care at this point.

    So on top of that bad day my depression has been acting up lately. I keep getting into fits of sadness and/or anger about why my parents have never been able to see me the way I am and why they have to twist things to see me as their dream daughter. Yesterday it was especially bad. I ended up having trouble sleeping and crying myself to sleep a bit past two. Sometimes late at night I feel really hopeless that life will ever improve for me or stop feeling so pointless. I don't know if coming out to them would help with these feelings but it must give me some sort of emotional closure, I guess.

    So I don't know, do you all think I should do it? I know people always say that you shouldn't come out when you don't feel ready or are in a bad emotional state or whatever. Unfortunately I'm pretty much like that constantly so I don't have a choice.
     
  2. Angus44

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    Hi Lucas,
    In my opinion, based on what you have said here, you should come out. I think if you are confident in who you are, it might help you to be able to have an open conversation with your parents. Good luck in whatever you choose to do :slight_smile:
    -Gus
     
  3. Luka99

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    Yes, unless you risk getting kicked out or something, coming out to everyone might force them to finally face it and talk to you about what it means to you. Kick them out of the denial phase, so to say.
     
    #3 Luka99, Jun 28, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2017
  4. Humbly Me

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    Don't worry I cry myself to sleep listening to music all the time. Anyways, trans people suffer much more for not being out than those of us who only have nonheterosexual orientations so I think it is probably a good thing for you to come out unless it puts you in physical danger. If your parents refuse to let you be yourself, you can talk to your therapist(assuming you have one)/school counselor/other family members about encouraging them to accept you or even the possibility of a change of guardianship.
     
  5. Senpai25

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    I really feel that you should come out if it is safe to do so. If that is the case, this is your best chance to both resolve the matter and feel more confident going forward.