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Coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by redstreak23, Jun 24, 2017.

  1. redstreak23

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    My family still thinks it's still living 1920's and thinks being gay is a bad thing and is not tolerated in their house. I have struggled with my decision to come out to them because I rely heavily on them as I have medical issues. I hate feeling like I am living a double life. They are also very religious. Has anyone had any experience with highly religious family members?
     
  2. AlexJames

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    My mother is highly religious herself and i have chosen not to come out to her while i am still heavily reliant on them, as i know being over 18 she can and will kick me out if she were to find out. I have come out to my dad and he's totally fine with it. Coming out to him and being accepted made me so unbelievably happy, i never expected how happy it would make me. But that being said if it is not safe to come out to your family, then don't. If you have someone - anyone - else that you can trust, consider coming out to them instead.

    Some family members opinions can change over time, but if you feel the reaction could be too hostile or if you simply don't feel ready to deal with a negative reaction you can put it off. Maybe hint or drop hinting questions or whatnot to try to guage their reaction. My mom likes to watch the news, for example, so commenting on an lgtb news story would be an option if she weren't homophobic and religious.
     
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  3. quebec

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    redstreak23....Yes, I have had difficulty dealing with "highly religious" family members....the biggest problem with it is that I am the highly religious family member! I am not Catholic, but have been a Christian since I was 8 years old. Being religious and finally accepting that I was gay is not an easy path. However, I can assure you that the two do not actually conflict. It's people not God who have put the concept of rejection of same-sex committed relationships and for that matter simply being gay in the category of sin. Jesus does not ever mention homosexuality...if it were really as important as many make it...would he have ignored it? While there are verses that bring it up, they have universally been misinterpreted. The Old Testament law has been fulfilled by Christ and no longer applies to Christians. Besides Sodom wasn't destroyed because of homosexuality (see Ezekiel 16: 49-5). The New Testament passages actually refer to prostitution as idol worship not being gay or homosexual as we know it today. There a a number of books that really go through this....post on my profile if you want the names. I so hope that you can work things out with your family. There are few things worse than dealing with someone who is convinced that their religion is totally correct and will not even consider thinking about anything else.....David
     
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  4. redstreak23

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    Thank you for posting this I am going to reread that passage. I would really hate it if when I decided to come out and my mum says to me "I know" I think I am going to get through university first and then maybe tell her.
     
  5. HerRainbow

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    Hi redstreak23, I was in a similar postition before I came out to my family. And I lived with the fear of them kicking me out if I came out to them for years, so I never said anything until a few months ago.

    But if your worried that they may have a bad reaction then the best thing would be to strike a balance if you can. So try to pick a time in the future where you would feel comfortable coming out to them but where you don't have to wait too long either.
     
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  6. Luka99

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    #6 Luka99, Jun 28, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2017
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  7. redstreak23

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    Thank you so much to everyone I have a lot of stuff to go over.
     
  8. quebec

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    redstreak23..... Luka99 has got it exactly right. One of the books that I was referring to in my post is Matthew Vines' "God and the Gay Christian" from which the video he posted is taken. It is an outstanding book. The other book is "Torn" by Justin Lee. It also does a great job of going through those six "clobber passages" and showing what they really mean. It is astonishing that biblical scholars have blind eyes when it come to these verses. They know better, but refuse to go against the accepted beliefs of the modern church...so they misinterpret the verses to avoid being attacked by conservative religious organizations. I am a Christian and as I said in my first post...dealing with being gay and being a Christian has not been easy. These two books were absolute life-savers......David
     
  9. PatrickUK

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    This website http://www.familyacceptance.com/home.html might be a good resource for your parents if they are struggling to reconcile matters of faith with your sexuality. It was created by two parents who have been through the whole journey and reached a place of acceptance, tolerance and love.