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My mom doesn't "get" my style

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Ruby Dragon, Jun 28, 2017.

  1. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2012
    Messages:
    478
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    178
    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Most of the people who know me, know that I'm far from girly.
    They've grown accustomed to my tomboyish way of being and dressing (for the most part).
    My mom, however, wants me to be more feminine. It's just not "me". I don't like girly stuff, don't wear makeup, have short nails, don't wear skirts and dresses and don't even own high heels, let alone wear them. I have short hair and practically live in jeans, t-shirts and converse or other (men's) sneakers. I have boots (men's boots) that I would love to wear, but my mom freaks out every time I wear them, telling me they're too butch.

    But I don't mind looking more butch. Sure, it may be off-putting for some men, but I just want to be free to wear what I want instead of having my wardrobe dictated by other people (read: parents). I'm nearly 29 years old for fuck's sake!

    My mom and I had another talk yesterday about me dressing more feminine and I asked her if I can wear golf shirts instead of t-shirts, and she said no, it's too masculine. The fuck??? Who even cares? I just wish I was male sometimes because they get away with (almost) anything clothes-wise. I hate how my mom is forcing me to be someone I'll never feel comfortable with being (i.e. more feminine). I know it doesn't mean I have to now wear makeup, dresses, skirts and heels and have long hair and nails but I like saying fuck if I want to say fuck. I like cussing.

    I like being rough and tough and I like sitting with my legs apart because it's more comfortable than forcing them into unnatural positions or crossing them. I try hard to fit her ideal but it just feels forced, because it is forced. I've told her this before but she doesn't understand ME. She doesn't get how my sister, who is only 13 months older, can be so girly and feminine and me being (according to her) a butch slob.

    I don't even care about a tidy bedroom. I make my bed each morning though, but when I'm done with my laundry and it's dry and ready to be packed away, I just toss them somewhere and then pick my clothes from that pile each morning. I don't care. I will pack my laundry away if my mom starts bitching about it but my closet is untidy too. I've been meaning to pack it neatly but then the feeling goes away and I end up postponing it again. I don't like being a neat freak, I don't like dressing all pretty-like.

    I just want to be comfortable and carefree. But I live with my parents due to financial reasons so guess I have to bide by their rules. Still, I just wish they'd leave me to be me. It just sucks that I can't express myself the way I want because my parents are forever judging me and dissing my style.

    How can I fix this with them? How can I open their minds to something different than what they're used to? I just want to be free to be me without them constantly nagging at me to be more feminine.
     
  2. Justinian20

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2014
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    32
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    Location:
    Brisbane Australia
    I agree with you, the point is I relate to this so much except go the other way. My parents seem to think I'm super masculine, to me being more masculine feels forced, at least they don't tell me to sit a certain way, I've always naturally crossed my legs to sit, when it comes to things like makeup and nail polish though, they go it's for girls or "it could be worse." Like a male wearing nail polish is a bad thing.

    I think it is best to express yourself how you want to because it doesn't harm anyone and it makes you happy, would your family rather you be down and not yourself as opposed to happy and being who you really are. I know what one I would prefer any possible child of mine to be and that is I don't care what my idea of what they will turn out to be as long as they know certain things like what is wrong and what is right. Talking about murder and things that no person should ever do.