My almost 13 year old daughter has a gf and is non binary

I say definitely warn your child about how some people can be very hostile and unaccepting, and reassure them that you still accept them 100%. Sadly, I don't have any age-appropriate LGBT book suggestions, but I know goodreads has a pretty good list of them, and I'm sure there are a lot if you do a google search ^.^ I'd suggest some myself, but I have a horrible memory and I can't remember any at the moment.

 

Honestly, a lot of LGBT media really sucks. They make it way too oversexualized. Not only do I agree that it is inappropriate for a 13 year old, but even an adult lesbian can find that annoying since not all of us base our sexuality off of just sex. It's kind of disheartening, because...although I have nothing against erotica existing, the sad fact is that you can find straight media of various subject, but not LGBT media.

I wish I could help recommend something, but I honestly have never seen a good LGBT story, even for adults.

Other than that, you're doing great as a parent! I'm sorry the other side of the family was not as accepting, but that unfortunately happens.

 

You already did that so well and right, and it will last and last.

I don't want to minimize all the issues you mentioned, and all the issues you can conjure up in your head (aargh!) but with a start (and a mom) like that, she will probably deal well, and be happy.

P.S.: Maybe "lesbian romance" would be a better search term. The erotica? Yeah, maybe in 7 years or so.

 

Ok! I looked up on my trusty website Tumblr (you may not believe me but there are good communities on tumblr) and I found a list of books with lgbt+ main characters. I haven't read these so I don't know if they're age-appropriate but it's definitely a start. I also suggest looking the "LGBT books and media" section of this website for some more ideas. Anyway, here's the list:

Camp Rewind- Two women strike up a romance at a summer retreat.
Never Lose Your Flames- A fire elemental and the bounty hunter being paid to arrest him fall in love.
Bad Boy- A transgender youtube star by day and vigilante by night, a job goes south and someone is out to ruin Ren’s life, leaving him struggling to clear his name.
Of Fire and Stars- A magic user and future queen falls in love with a princess, and her husband-to-be’s sister.
If I Was Your Girl- Trans romance written by a trans author
The Fifth Season- In the distant future, nature ravages the land, with a select few being able to control it. Main characters include a bi man, a gay man, and a trans woman.
Six of Crows (two book series)- A gang of thieves take on their most ambitious job yet- stealing a magic-enhancing drug. Features a lighthearted love story between a sharpshooter and the demolitions expert.
Into this River I Drown- A man searching for the truth behind his father’s death falls in love with his town’s guardian angel.
Not Your Sidekick- After failing to manifest powers, the local superhero duo’s daughter takes on an internship with their super-villain rival, and falls in love with her. Also has a trans boy.
Chameleon Moon- A group of people struggle to survive in a city of magic and turmoil. Has a married lesbian couple, several gay characters, and a nonbinary character.
Last Seen Leaving- After his sort-of-girlfriend vanishes, a closeted kid is forced to team up with another friend of hers, and develops feelings for him along the way
The Lightning-struck Heart- A wizard and a knight are sent to save the knight’s boyfriend, and fall hopelessly in love along the way. There’s also a gay dragon.
The Girl With the Crooked Fangs- A half-vampire develops a crush on her daring human friend.
Ice Massacre & Ice Crypt (two book series)- A mermaid hunter develops feelings for an old friend of hers, who happens to be one of the mermaids she’s sent to kill.
The Coldest Girl In Coldtown- Vampire story with a twist, and both a bisexual and transgender main character.
The Foxhole Court (3 book series)- Neil, a gifted Exy player with a rocky past, joins a competitive team. Several gay and bi characters, including the protagonist.
The Raven Cycle (3 book series)- A group of boys and a girl who serves as a psychic amplifier try to find and awaken a Welsh king. Stars a romance between a boy who can take things out of his dreams and a magician.
Shallow Graves- A girl awakens several feet underground, at the same moment when all birds in the nearby vicinity drop dead. She struggles to piece together the identity of the killer while finding out what she is. Bisexual protagonist.

 

Hey Mum, (that sounds weird haha)

If you're on twitter, do a search for YA LITERATURE LGBT. I remember seeing an LGBT magazine reviewing some but unfortunately I can't remember which/where. Hopefully, this will point you in the direction of some. A google search will probably do the same.

Good luck!

 

Hi there,

You could look up the novel Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden. It's a young adult lesbian fiction. I've read it a while back, and don't remember any graphic scenes. There are references to a lot of topics that kids her age deal with on a daily basis, or would later on: questioning your orientation, coming out, peer pressure, first love, high school stuff.

There is a reference to the main characters relationship becoming intimate, but it's not crude at all.

I love the book, but there are heaps of other reads out there for her.

Hope you find something she'll enjoy

 

Hey I know people have said this before but with such a great supportive mum she is going to be just fine I think. There is hostility out there but I don't think it is the norm. It's not as bad as it sometimes seems.

 

I think the world is getting better for gay people these days, so as long as she has some support she will be fine. I haven't gotten a bad reaction for it so far.

 

Hey Mum! You seem like a great parent. I just want to understand your daughter a little more, if you don't mind. You say she identifies as non-binary? If this is the case, has she said her preferred pronouns? Is she comfortable with being referred to as your daughter? Kudos to you for reaching out to the EC community. It takes a lot for a parent to reach out like this.

 

Sounds like he's projecting because he had bad experiences. Sadly that tends to happen a lot and is a very normal human response we fear what we don't understand and that's hard enough. But when something bad happens the person's mind can tie it to something that's not necessarily the problem. I would say there is definitely something you can do to help him understand and I don't think this is a lost cause but it's not something that's going to be done easily or within a couple days. And if not handled correctly it could end in arguments your best possibility is to have him speak to somebody about why he is homophobic and open up about his past and his father. That's probably one of the very few ways are going to break through if there is a possibility of him being accepting. I don't know how we'll get him to do it though and that's an issue. You definitely would not want to put him on the defense getting him angry at you or your daughter. I'd work on coming up with a way to figure out how to get through to him that not every gay person is bad and that straight or gay that could have happened to anyone. Although at the moment without jumping too far ahead or making assumptions I think you yourself had your best option and I think that's to explain to your daughter that he comes from a different generation with a different upbringing and it might take time for him to understand but no matter what you'll be there. Make sure she knows that even with his opinions or veiw points you will continue to support her I think that is important. But keep in mind if you plan to stay with this guy and he does not change I'm not going to lie to you it's definitely possible there will come a problem.

 

im currently reading "ill give you the sun" and "letters to Q" and they are both amazing lgbt books and letters to Q is a bunch of letters queer adults have written to their younger self and i really recommend it!

but also i want to say thank you for accepting your child so well my mother isnt as warm and open minded as you but it makes me happy seeing other peoples' mums accepting them !

 

Well you're in luck!! Your daughter's like me-same age, likes girls & reading. I have a suggestion for a book: The Answer. Has your daughter ever heard of Steven Universe? It's a PG cartoon about these magical beings called "gems" who are genderless, but have feminine pronouns, voices, etc. and stuff like that. There's two gems in particular, Ruby and Sapphire, who are in a romantic relationship and are considered lesbians. The Answer is a book about their love story, it's based off of an episode from the show they're in, and I would ask if she knows what Steven Universe is, she could give it a try. There is strong LGBT+ representation in that show, it's beautiful.

 

I second @poltergirl!^^^ Any romance heavy Steven Universe books are bound to be a hit. The characters are adorable, relatable, and LGBT, as well as the stories themselves being sweet and well-written!

 

hey mum! thank you for being the awesome mom i wish i had when i came out at 13. things did not go over well. even if your kid experiences hardship, having you in their corner is gonna mean so much more. keep advocating, but don't speak over them, and that'll mean everything.

when i was a young queer, i read a lot of julie anne peters. she writes really relatable "lesbian" YA fiction and on an e-reader, her books are pretty cheap! they're really really good, but can get a little sad (depending on the book).

also, carmilla webseries is an amazing thing to watch for a young non-binary person because there's a non-binary character on the show, lafontaine played by a non-binary actor. i know it's not a book, but seeing yourself in media is more than incredible for your self-esteem! i highly recommend it for your child.

good luck!

 

in looking for books go on to Amazon and search teen lesbian fiction. You will have to search through them to find the good ones and read the reviews to make sure they are suitable. Fair warning you search lesbian fiction on Amazon and a lot of the results will be erotica.