Can I use #ownvoices tag when I'm not sure of my orientation?

I write novels. An editor has advised me to use #ownvoices as an LGTB+ tag for my (so far) unpublished novel, if it applies. I already use it for disability, but I'm uncertain I qualify on LGBT+. I don't want to use it unfairly, so I'd like your opinions, based on my personal situation below, as to whether it would be reasonable to use the #ownvoices tag for bisexuality.

#ownvoices is a tag you can use to alert agents, readers, etc to the fact the writer has personal experience of the experience in the book - whether that be disability, LGBT+, race etc.

My novel contains a main character who is bi. I would say I personally currently identify as uncertain, potentially bi, for the reasons below:

I'm in a happy hetero marriage, all my relationships have been hetero. I've had a couple of intense friendships with women, which, looking back, I wonder about, and some LGBT folks have said sound like little crushes. I was totally clueless at the time.

I grew up in a conservative rural area and as a teenager I remember not being sure of my orientation, but plumping for 'straight' eventually because I liked guys, and I didn't realise being bi was a possibility. At school someone once spread a rumour that I was gay, so I got quite a bit of flak because of that. Maybe it made me reluctant to dig deeper into myself.

I've always supported LGBT rights passionately. When I started writing this current story I came to identify very closely with my bisexual MC. I started noticing women more and more, but wasn't sure whether that was because I was identifying with my bi character, or because writing him was allowing me to explore my own orientation. I then realised if the book was ever published someone would at some point ask me my own orientation so I tried to work through that, and ended up working through all the common 'coming out' issues - what would my family think, etc.

I think if I was ever single in the future I wouldn't rule out women. I'd probably stick 'bi' on a dating profile and see what happened, but I think I'd be more likely to go for a guy. Of course, I'm happily married so I'm hoping being single won't happen!

I find a small number of men attractive (I have 2 clear types), but when I find them attractive I really do drool over them. I probably see one fanciable guy in every 50 or so, I'm picky, but I've noticed I tend to end up dating blokes who I'm friends with/know well. In the last couple of years - since writing- I've become aware that I notice women too. I find maybe 1 in 20 women on the street attractive (and again I have 2 clear types), but it's less drooly. I'm not sure whether that attraction would lead to anything.

I've always been in quite a masculine professional environment, often as the only woman (am not particularly butch though). I get on really well with men, as friends. In fact I find most women (unless they're a bit like me), hard to click with but that may be because I didn't know many until the last few years. A recent (male) reviewer noticed my male characters are much better written and natural than my female characters. That's because I 'get' men. I feel like women are as much a mystery to me as they stereotypically are to men.

If, in this hypothetical dating site scenario, a woman I found attractive asked me on a date, I think I'd go and see how I felt, and I'd ask out a woman I found attractive (I'd warn her though!). I can't really imagine me being with a woman romantically, and I'm not sure whether the physical attraction would translate into anything physical, I think I'd have to try, to know.

I suspect that itself puts me somewhere on the bi scale. I'm not sure, but I'd guess most entirely straight people wouldn't even countenance a date with someone the same sex.

Outside of LGBT helplines and you lot only I've only told one person for sure. If asked outright I'd say I was slightly bi, but more like 90% straight. I've never been able to just come out (ha ha) with that though, though I have tried to psych myself up to it.

Having spent a couple of years now trying to work out my sexuality and being really quite confused, and going through all the 'what would my family say' stuff, I feel somewhat qualified to write my closeted bi character at least. I haven't been really upset as I really don't feel there's anything wrong with being not straight, but it has been a bit tortured. I've also found myself unexpectedly upset when someone told me that bisexuals don't really exist.

But can I really claim #ownvoices, if I'm not entirely sure myself, and am probably only a bit not-straight? Or may even have somehow used my crazy writer's imagination to imagine myself into being bi?

What it comes down to is, if I was published as an #ownvoices author, and then, say in an interview, all that stuff above came out, would LGBT people on here feel I'd tricked my way in?

 

Thanks AbsoluteNerd, sorry for the late reply and well done for wading through all that! I think on reflection I do fit the category.