Hi. I started to think last night how i would tell my friends and family and who i would tell first. I think my best friend is going to be first. I then started thinking about what they might say which probably wasn't the best idea. One thing i keep thinking some people my say including my mum will be "why do you think you are gay?". I am moving out of home in a couple of weeks i am going to wait at least until then. I think my mum will be alright she might just need some time to adjust. For people who have come out what were some of the responses you got?
All my responses so far have gone along the line so either. "You are the third (or insert other number) dude I know that is into guys." Or "Oh dude that's cool, respect that." Or "K, it really doesn't bother me." But I have only come out to very select people. I'm sure there are plenty of rude, hateful people that will respond negatively once I'm publicly out, but for now I only entrust my friends and noone has broken this trust.
Really think about who you want to come out to first. Be very cautious. Sometimes the ones you trust first may be the first one to deceive you. And spread gossip. Maybe you might get lucky; and someone will defend the truth behind you and not tell anyone. It all depends on how " open" you want to be about it. From experience, I suggest extreme cautiousness. Can't stress that enough. Trust me.
When I first came out to my mum, she asked me if I was molested as a child. She also asked if I may be bisexual. No. But she accepted me. Just took her a while to get her head around it fully. My younger family members, cousins etc, just accepted it straight away. The worst reaction was my best friend. I came out to him by text. He responded saying everything was fine and cool. But after that he never spoke another word to me again. A friendship of 7 years, gone.
jess29....One of the few friends that I have come out to said a very similar thing. I think it's one of the top "first questions" that get asked. He said; " How do you know you are gay?" to which the standard answer is (and it's exactly what I said) "How do you know you are straight?" He smiled and said; "well OK" and that was the end of that!.....David
So far the reactions I've gotten have been positive, but I've only told a handful of people whom I felt would be cool with it. Most of the responses were funny since I'm pretty masculine in my mannerisms and tastes, so it threw most of them off when I came out. They'd do a double take and were like "I'd never have guessed" or "you're messing with me, aren't you?" Blast - I'm really sorry to hear about losing your friend. I do have one friend who's very religious that I haven't told yet because I'm dreading the possibility of rejection.
It still bothers me a bit sometimes as I never got to confront him about it and I never got the satisfaction of a definitive explanation but, in the end, its for the best. I wouldnt choose to be friends with a homophobe. If anything I wish it would've happened sooner... That way I wouldnt have wasted so much of my time on the worthless asshole.
The best thing about those situations is that we can choose our friends and ditch the ones that only bring negativity into our lives. Leave 'em behind and start anew.
Well I've got positive reaction from my friends and negative from my family. To be fair I was expecting it. But as the time goes it seems they are slowly starting to accept it.
