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Coming out letter critique (URGENT)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by pointofnoreturn, Jun 23, 2017.

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  1. pointofnoreturn

    pointofnoreturn
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    Location:
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    I'm out to my immediate family as nonbinary but want to come out on Facebook ASAP. So I wrote this letter:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U1FZRTEzLuPhOKvaegwt-XhNmit-EpEYzBkRzi8_Mso/edit#
    My parents believe I'm mentally ill due to my "abnormal" identities and the brain damage I suffered at birth, which left me physically disabled. The thought of coming out publicly and facing their wrath because I refuse to keep private my identity is terrifying.
    Any critique would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
     
    #1 pointofnoreturn, Jun 23, 2017
  2. Sebby45

    Sebby45
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    Out to everyone
    I think your letter is very open and very detailed. It leaves no room for doubting your point.
     
    #2 Sebby45, Jun 23, 2017
  3. Krishebble

    Krishebble
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I thought it was wonderful. It was informative and explained everything well
     
    #3 Krishebble, Jun 23, 2017
  4. EverDeer

    EverDeer
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    Unless you're assuming that you're family is already well aware of what transgender is in general and the large variety it can encompass, although this is already very well quantified and digestible, they might be left without a focal point to compare it to. I imagine you tried to make it very scientifically understandable due to the lack of empathy you're already getting from all of them, and while I understand all this perfectly well because I'm well educated in these topics, it might be good to also add a bit more about how being nonbinary relates to being transgender closer to the very top of your beginning statement, or just move the small paragraph about not identifying as transsexual up closer to the top and add a bit about how nonbinary is a facet of transgender... although you don't identify this way, most people understand in our era that being trans is a very serious and deeply innate part of ourselves. I feel like without the strong conveyance of "this is a real true part of me, just as true as a binary trans person" they will not try and understand how the two relate more and the gravity of it all... where as when they can think about trans experiences that they've seen in the media in their head at the same time, it gives a layer of conceivable reality to you, so they won't just brush it off as some obscure form of cross dressing or another overthought personality trait.
     
    #4 EverDeer, Jun 23, 2017
  5. Foxfeather

    Foxfeather
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    Location:
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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    A bit too data-y to feel personal for me? With family and friends, I speak straight from the heart, keep it short, and wait for the rainbows to roll in on facebook or wherever.

    The first part of your letter, though? Even though I came out as les and not trans then, your letter has a really similar feel to my coming out letter and it kinda plucked a heartstring because you sound a lot like me when I was coming out to my brother.
     
    #5 Foxfeather, Jun 23, 2017
  6. pointofnoreturn

    pointofnoreturn
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    My parents know what transgenderism is because they like making fun of it; my extended family are much better about being respectful. The letter I've posted here is actually the second draft. In my first draft I included a whole long paragraph about the difference between trans and nonbinary identities with examples of famous people. But it felt too impersonal, I didn't want them to assume I am trans, and I absolutely did not want to allow a space for debate. They can believe as they wish but I'm still nonbinary. Does that make sense?

    I can understand why you feel that way and I am a bit worried about that, but I'd be coming out to my extended family who are at their youngest thirty and at their oldest almost eighty years old. It felt safer to me to, in a sense, do the research for them. That way they can't complain about knowing where to start.
     
    #6 pointofnoreturn, Jun 24, 2017
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