Don't feel I'm gay anymore

I guess I feel the same in a way.
With teenagers there always seem to be a few people that associate weird things with you once they find out you're attracted to girls. But, well, the majority of people just keep treating you the same.

Going to the " gay-scene" however I felt like a lot of people started making assumptions particulary about what my political ideas should be. Adding on that there are , of course, movies and shows you are expected to be interested in because they have gay characters in them, or certain fashion rules to uphold.

The point is: I am an individual that happens to be sexually attracted to women, not someone who's individual identity is completely shaped by being attracted to women.


Sorry for ranting a bit here, not sure if you feel that way for the same reasons I do, but, well.

Have a nice day, i guess.

 

I prefer the term homosexual too and also use it over gay or lesbian.

I think I just like how clinical sounding it is. It only has one definition- sexually attracted only to the same sex. It doesn't have the political or fluidity problems that gay does.

I know that the word homosexual is seen as unfriendly because it was a term used to display hatred and label us as mentally ill. But gay and queer were also once hateful terms that described us as mentally ill as well, yet we use those. So it doesn't bother me to use those terms.

 

I totally agree. The word gay has so many connotations that the word Homosexual feels way more accurate.

 

I think honestly the word gay actually does fit me, but then for you guys, you choose how you label yourselves, if you don't want a label that's fine, if you like labels that's fine too. It's all about who you are as a person.

So I understand why you peeps don't like the label gay because it usually has specific connotations that not everyone fits.

 

I think I would agree with this. I've never had a big problem with the word homosexual.

 

I definitely feel the same way, it's one of the reasons I worry over coming out, it feels somehow like people are going to view me in a different light, like it somehow changes my personality. But when I first started realizing I was bi it changed how I thought about myself, certain things I became overly conscientious of, like tomboy tendencies or how I looked. It was weird, but after a while I realized it wasn't that important, this site also helped me calm down about stereotypes like that.

 

The thread interests me because in my own mind I've always distinguished between "gay" and "homosexual." For me "homosexual" describes the simple fact of being same-sex attracted. If people aren't born that way they come into it in the very early stages of development--it decidedly is not a choice. "Gay" for me is a choice. It's about a certain level of not just accepting but embracing being homosexual. Gay is cultural--it's about community. I'm gay. Gay people, in my book, are a little confused by the notion that being gay is only about who you sleep with or that it's a fundamentally private matter--after all, being straight isn't any of those things. They look askance at looking for "straight-acting" guys--straight acting guys have sex with women. I associate a certain generosity of spirit with being gay. I feel a certain kinship to other gay people, and it has nothing to do with wanting to sleep with them. I'm more likely to ask a favor or grant a favor to someone who's gay, even if I don't know them. I feel easier talking to them, I go into the interaction feeling it's more likely that we might eventually be friends. In my experience people grow into being gay out of being homosexual. This was certainly my experience and I do tend to generalize it. But I certainly could be wrong. I also have become more liberal as I've gotten older and feel like all the best people do. Conventional wisdom says it works exactly the opposite.

 

I know what you mean, by definition I'm a lesbian or gay, but I don't necessarily feel apart of the current LGBT movement, I just see myself as a woman who likes other women.

 

Very interesting. I've always considered gay and homosexual to mean the same thing, with homosexual just sounding kinda awkwardly formal.

 

Hey Calf,

If you mean what I think you mean, I would agree with your thought process. (Even though I'm a Bi guy.)

I'm thinking that you're saying that the term 'gay' has morphed from a much more acceptable/friendly word for homosexual than derogatory terms (like fag, faggot, poofter, butt-pirate, etc) into something that is now much more directly associated with a culture and specific stereotypes. However, since our sexuality transcends cultures and stereotypes are inherently restrictive and generally false, creating such a 'defined' Gay Culture is inherently a flawed prospect. However, once an idea or term is out there in modern cultural circles, the term/idea is naturally subject to being taken over and abused/misused by various parties. In this instance, I might surmise that you are concerned/unhappy that an LGBTQ sub-culture has taken self-proclaimed 'ownership' of what it means to be "Gay." And, if that is part of the point of your original post, then I would agree with you.

In terms of getting back to basics, i.e. simply using the term "homosexual", I don't see where you could really go wrong.

Or maybe I'm just going off on a tangent...