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How common is this?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ConnectedToWall, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. ConnectedToWall

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    When I'm around my crush, a lot of times conversation is awkward--thank god not always though. But when I'm away from my crush I imagine all of the things I would say to them. It's actually gotten to the point where literally all of my thoughts are basically things I would tell them if we were dating I guess. My head is constantly in the clouds, planning out ways I could talk to them.
    When I was younger, I would do this too, but be so anxious that I almost never actually talked to them.
    I just want to know if others do this. It's weird because most of the time I don't fantasize about what I would do with them (like picnic, movie, walk along the beach etc.) just what I would say to them. Sometimes I tell other people who I am close to things I had imagined saying to my crush, but feel frustrated even if they are understanding and helpful because they weren't who I wanted to tell. It's almost like this weird thing where it's like I have tunnel vision, and if I like one person, I still care about others but it's very hard to find meaning in what I am doing unless it somehow relates back to my crush.
    Okay, that was really long. Please let there be someone who can relate to this. I realize relationships are a lot more than just reciting monologues to someone too. I do want to know about them as well.
     
  2. Lynz

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    Hiya Connected!

    I hear ya! I did the exact same thing u are doing with my now wife!

    I'm a loud, chatty, confident person. When I first met my other half, I could not get a word out to her. First time I had ever experienced it! Butterflies, tongue tied. When she spoke to me, I'd reply with a stutter and squeaks. "Uuuh bluh bleh bluh blah mm" was about as far as I could get. I'd turn around to another person in the room half a second later and was able to talk to them completely fine! She told me (much later) that she thought I just really didn't like her!

    The thing is - love is awesome. When u have that person as your partner anyway. But when you dont - love hurts and is pure evil!!! Haha. Butterflies, sicky-feeling, dizziness, cant talk, cant sleep, cant eat. Or atleast that's how I was anyway hahaha.

    Anyway, eight months of the above pain, and our friends hit our heads together. Turned out she was mad about me too. 6 years later we are married :grin:

    TALK to your crush. Rehearse as much as u need. Dont beat yourself up over love. Smile. Eye contact. Smile more. The very basics. Then try the words. Take your time. You never know what might happen!

    Hugs
     
  3. ConnectedToWall

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    Wow that's an incredible and awesome story. Hopefully I can be as lucky as you one day! Thanks for sharing!
     
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  4. beenthrdonetht

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    I clipped a cartoon years ago about this.. because it was me too. You are not alone. Practice makes perfect. (Hope this is copyright-OK. Fair use.)

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Sedatedsquirell

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    Gotta tell you i'm literally the same and i mean the same to every last word u said :grin: i always think about what could i say or do but when i'm actually there trying to do it i just freeze and then later look back and wonder why didnt i say that, same goes for literally everything boiling down to something to do with my crush.. basically we're the same mate so dont worry! You're not alone and you never will be :slight_smile:
     
  6. ConnectedToWall

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    Awesome! It's so good to hear I'm not alone in this!!
     
  7. peachygogh

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    thats actually a symptom of social anxiety of some form. I have social anxiety, and I plan out nearly everything I say before I have to say it. Hopefully, it isn't becoming detrimental towards your mental health. I would say...embrace the awkward conversations, because without them, you can't move on to more meaningful ones
     
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