Omg grief for our "heterosexual identity" that is exactly it! Findmyself1 - I was sad to see your post after where you left off in my thread. Sending lots of virtual support. This is all so hard and overwhelming sometimes!
I agree with kunoichi, this is very well said. It does feel like limbo. There is no rush to do anything. I've often felt the need to work on my relationship, so I understand where you're coming from. The prospect of breaking up your own family is scary. It's a huge decision. For me, it's not really worked, but my relationship has a lot of other issues. Take care of yourself.
Today started with feeling myself and my thoughts not as back and forth crazy. I have felt better about making things work with my husband and have just felt calm. Out of nowhere the depression snuck back in and overtook me. I am realizing I am having a ton of hormonal imbalances since removing my IUD months ago. Apparently it's very common to have a heavy crash that can be strongest the week before the period for a few months. So now I don't know what's real or just my being crazy from hormones. It's really a mind trip. Taking things slowly and not being so fixated on the label of "am I lesbian?" I think is going to be essential. Im obviously in the spectrum possibly leaning towards lesbian. I'm not stressing out panicking like I have been at least. I will take this over that any day! Thank you everyone. Such great advice.
No worries. It sounds like you need to give yourself some time for your hormones to settle down and then perhaps re evaluate when you can get a more accurate view on how you are actually feeling.
Hi sorry to hear your going through this. Glad your seeing someone too as I think that really helped me look at myself in my marriage/life/internalized homophobia. I would say you should try and deal with this completely now, not rush it but it's easy sometimes through and up and to put this aside and keep going because you love your husband and not address it. I did this and 4 years later I fell for a women and now getting divorced. I should have dealt with it back then completely, instead I saw and therapist and decided that I didn't care about sex but loved my husband. Then fell for a women and had feelings I've never had before and couldn't ignore. Not sure if you have kissed a women before? I don't mean to go on about me, just sharing what I went through and my learnings.
Thank you for your insight. Ugh this is exactly my fear. I'm afraid that it is inevitable that it will keep coming back up. I don't see it going completely away and I am sure that the itch and curiosity of the other side will only get worse. I have only really kissed a girl once in college, she is currently my best friend and I don't really have feelings for her now, but it was very nice and I crushed in her for a month later. I had a different roommate who I was completely attracted to and in love with but only kissed her in my dreams lol. I fantasize about and crush on women so often. This all came back up a couple weeks ago when I woke up to the most intense fantasy I ever had about a woman I worked with the night before. For the following week my whole body was buzzing and I woke up super early feeling aroused with butterflies. This is what all got me really looking inside myself. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a divorce and that you wish you addresssd things earlier. I am going to try and be as true to myself that I can. But yeah I am in the mode of convincing myself sex isn't important because I love my husband. All sounds too familiar to your situation. Thanks again!
