Hello everybody! So after lurking through these forums for a while, I finally came out to my parents as Asexual Demipanromantic. I have a problem though, they don't believe me, saying that I am too young to know, and that you can't have romantic attraction without sexual attraction. I am 100% sure of my orientation though and I am not sure on what to do. Do you guys have any advice?
Ignore them and date whoever you love. Do whatever feels right to you. If they aren't going to stop you from being with the people that you care about, why does it matter what they think?
Well, my parents and I have a very close relationship and I don't really want to date someone without their approval. They can be very stubborn and persistent and I don't want this to get in the way of our relationship. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
Hello Peripuff! Welcome to EC! First off, I'd like to address your question. The basic response for LGBTQ people to someone questioning "how do you know" or stating that "you are too young to know" is "When did YOU know that you were straight?" At fifteen, you've gone through puberty. It not at all unusual that you are still uncertain of your sexuality. It is a little unusual to Come Out to parents before we are more sure of our own sexuality. And you described a mouthful of buzz-term sexual descriptions that haven't been formally defined. So I imagine that they might have actually taken your Coming Out as a teenage joke rather than taking it seriously. Am I right about that?
Thanks for your response, I have spent a bit of time explaining to them what Asexual and Demipanromantic meant, and they told me that they would support me no matter what, but I don't think they necessarily believed that I actually know what I am talking about. They know me as a person who tends to be much more serious than other teenagers, because I always make a point about trying to not be 'cool' or going with the flow, and I have always been honest to everyone, so I don't think they would have perceived what I have said as a joke.
Well, then, Peripuff, I would recommend that your main course of action simply to be 'you.' In other words, you've opened up to them and told them some extremely personal and private information about yourself. And they kind of dismissed it. But, as you said, you were being honest (and, quite frankly, very vulnerable when you told them, so their non-plussed reaction actually hurt you - understandably so). Perhaps the best way to move forward is to try to pretend (in their presence) that their dismissive attitude never occurred and continue to move forward with the fact that you Came Out to them. In other words, in each instance that dating, romance, sex, etc may come up, you simply make your replies/comments based on the fact that you already Came Out to them. And if they act confused or shocked, you could just say "I already told you that I'm Asexual and Demipanromantic. I even explained it in detail. What is it that you don't understand about what I have confided in you about my sexuality?" (Or whatever words/phrasing you might choose to you to convey those concepts.)
