I think people already know that I identified as gay, I say 'identified' because I'm feeling a little confused. I had feelings for girls in the past but I thought they were always platonic which I was confusing for romantic, I still don't really know what they were. I don't want to write too much between it's 12:20AM and I'm really tired...it's just that a while ago, I started noticing this girl more. I would talk about her a lot because it just felt like I was thinking about her all the time, I felt more nervous than usual and I'd never really thought about her looks before but I'd started thinking about how pretty she was. Before then, I'd been feeling weirdly drawn in by the idea of a heterosexual relationship. I don't know why. Maybe it was just something different but I really wanted a straight relationship. What I was worried about the most was girls would be too different from me. I don't know what that means anymore. But I know once I started talking to this girl, we weren't all that different after all and I started feeling like maybe I liked her. I think I still like guys, I mean I'd have to. Attraction can't just disappear like that, can it? But sometimes when I see a girl now, I'll think that she's really beautiful and my chest will feel funny, I guess it's my heart rate picking up. I have no idea. Is this just a phase? Or was the gay part a phase?
Hi I can't tell you what your sexuality is, but I'd suggest considering if the label 'bisexual' wouldn't suit you better at this point. It seems that you developed some feelings for the girl you described and it would be a pity to resist acting on this interest only because of the label you once have chosen. You said you crave a straight relationship - if that's what you desire why wouldn't you give it a try?
Attraction can be based differently on different people. Sexuality isn't a phase as such. You can't just no longer be attracted to people. But maybe go out with a girl on a date to just see how it is?
