What's your trans experience (decidedly-not-getting-surgery edition)?

look who posted
sorry you just won my heart after your awesome replies c:

1. I think I don't hate my genitals, and my vision on transitioning is kind of too much in black and white

2. Really don't know, maybe I would like bottom surgery sexually or regret it, maybe I would love having a cuter face after ffs, I know life as a girl could be more adaptable to me but that aspect is still kind of confusing since I don't relate that much to my mother, as my personality is androgynous I would struggle with conforming to the opposite sex as well, at least in some aspects

3. as far as my body is androgynous I think hair removal is the only thing I need

4. some of my closest friends and my sister

5. it's androgynous! that may come off a little bit stupid, but come on, being an androgynous guy sounds awesome

6. being empathetic, I hope

it's nice to break off the binary, that's the main thing I struggle with, really can't conform despite my past efforts

 

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?

I don't think surgery is the answer for me because I am an idealist. I have an idealized version of the man I want to be in my head...and *drumroll*...he looks nothing like me.

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?

No. I do not. I think it would only cause more dysphoria (see answer #1.)

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?

It would never be enough, because it would never bring out the real me...the me inside. It would only try to alter my outer appearance.

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have surgery?

Hmmm...I have people who love me regardless of my identity, but don't condone surgeries, etc.

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.

I like my hands.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.

My obsessive fan syndrome.

* Thank you for this thread. It is so refreshing to read about trying to love your body the way it is. That is exactly what I have been trying to do of late, and even if it isn't perfect, I have had more peace of mind than I've had in ages. Dysphoria will always be an issue, but at least I can try to not hate myself. Thanks Foxfeather.

Sebby

 

I don't even get why I'm supposed to want surgery? Or to be a guy? My gender is a bit wierd and that's what being trans means to me. My mind is that of a guy, despite me being a girl in other aspects. Is that wrong? Why am I even supposed to think about it? I'm concerned with passing a bit, because I find it annoying to be a guy about whom everyone thinks he's a girl. And inconvenient, unpleasant, difficult. If I get read as a tomboy, then that's fine with me. The social part of transitioning is the furthest I'll ever go, and that's what I need. Maybe I would prefer and find it easier to be born male, like, physically. But changing my body doesn't appeal to me. It's not like I would be changing much more than physical appearance and how I'm read by others. And I like my current physical appearance. And I think there are other ways to get a point through than taking medicines or getting surgeries. So I think this paragraph covers point 1. The answer to point two is a simple "no". Different bits are not crucial to my comfort. And what I have doesn't cause me distress per say. Three: I am me and I am enough. As simple as that. Pretty much everyone I'm close with knows about my gender and I'm really lucky to have supportive and understanding family and friends. However much we argue and get mad at each other, and however much drama we go throuh sometimes. Five - ok, so.... I think I'm just good looking I'm fit, slim and in shape. I like that. My hair is nice too. Six - I consider myself smart

 

This is such a sweet idea for a thread. Oh, Fox, you always have such great things to say.

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?
I'm not actually fully decided on what i'm doing for surgery but i'm currently leaning more towards not having surgery. And definitely not all of it.
One of my reasons would practically the same reason as Sebby's. It also just seems like so much trouble, and i'd hate to regret it.

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?
I think i might like hormones, but i don't know... i don't think i'd be satisfied with bottom surgery, despite how much i want male genitalia, it might just make me feel worse since now it's just that what's there isn't what i want, but for it not to be exactly what i want AND not be fully functioning might hurt more. Top surgery doesn't seem entirely necessary for me since my chest is already pretty flat so it doesn't cause me much trouble, i think i'm fine with just wearing a binder when i need it, but who knows. The constant doubt is always there.

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?
Ultimately, i'd need a fully functioning cis male body and mind to feel complete for real.

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have
surgery?
Yep. ( ^ . ^ )

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.
I always liked my nose for some reason, heh.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.
Hmm... Probably my hobbies and skills. They aren't amazing, but i enjoy using them.

 

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?

If we're talking GRS, partly because of the cost. Realistically the odds are pretty good I'll never have the money for it. FFS is another story. I'm open to it but nothing certain right now.

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?

I honestly don't know. It's so far down the road for me... Right now I just want to get HRT.

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?

Like I said, I want to get hormones. I want to have breasts and other more feminine features. I don't want to lose my hair as I get older. It's taken to long to grow it out as it is lol

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have surgery?

My sister. She's the only one I'm out to.

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.

My hair. It's taken so long to grow out, and for a long time I had to fight to be able to grow it out. Now it's finally long enough to really have fun with.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.

I love to help others. It's corny, I know, but it's true.

 

While I'm not sharing experience, a while back someone told me a great way to ward off transphobes or anyone you don't want to know you're trans when presenting as male. You're a guy with testosterone deficiency and (if you're not binding) the word for cis men with extra breast tissue. (Gynecomastia or something).
People generally accept it!

 

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?

Oh, I am definitely getting top surgery, if and when I can afford to. But I definitely don't want bottom surgery. I figure, I don't get dysphoria about that part of me, so why bother? It's invasive, and painful, and in my case needless - it isn't about the dick.

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?

To an extent, yes.

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?

When I get my breasts off, it will be enough. To not have to worry about getting dressed to hide my chest...I can't wait for that. I can't imagine needing any other surgeries to feel complete.

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have surgery?

Yes

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.

My shoulders are great. I have fairly broad shoulders.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.

I'm always kind to animals.

 

Interesting discussion, thanks for that!
OK, answers time.

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?
I definitely want top surgery, simply because I hate my chest. I don´t bind, my back is too fucked up for this. So i crouch and wear clothes too big (which I hate because I like to be sharp dressed man but I hate ppl staring at my chest more, so...). But I don´t think I want bottom surgery. I am not sure about the result. But never say never, and yeah, I really feel I am missing something down there, so...

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?

Definitely. My back would definitely feel better and my self esteem would sky rocket.

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?

Top surgery, HRT... hell I am even OK with losing my hair. Bald men can be hot as hell, can´t they? And I am saying that as someone who is literally obsessed with his hair! And as for body hair - hell yeah, gimme all of them, I´d love to become a bear! There is a huge bear living inside this pocket creature! Hehe.

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have surgery?

I have ppl who accept me, but I am not sure if they love me.

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.

Hands. I have cool hands. And shoulders. Neck is OK too I guess. And I think my back looks good, though it´s painful and not completely working.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.

My wit. And wicked sense of humor.

 

Thanks for posting.

For me I have always wanted to accept my body as it is instead of changing it to be what society expects. Ideally I would want to be able to be like the card in the game munchkin that changes your gender, but that is only fantasy. Being bigender for me means that my brain will often not agree with what my body actually is. But changing it I don't think would make me happier.

I currently have few friends I am out to that accept me regardless. At most I think I would be happiest packing for bottom dysphoria occasionally. I like my body for what it is, and I like who I am as a person.

For those of you who are afab or amab, I like to tell myself often when my brain says my body doesn't match my gender being male or female bodied doesn't make you less of a man or woman or any other gender identity. Just be you and love yourself for who you are.

 

Great thread topic

1. Why did you decide to not get surgery?
I will most likely not get surgery for a variety of reasons. One of the first things that would get in the way would be due to my health problems. I have always had issues with my testosterone levels which caused severe pcos... And I've been relying on hormonal treatment to reduce/block testosterone for most of my life. Getting surgery and T would most likely make things more complicated than good.

I'm also considered quite "womanly" with my figure (large natural hips and breasts). Even if I did get basic surgery, I would never pass. Lastly, I generally prefer to focus on loving my body for what it is. While I would prefer to be masculine, I am also comfortable with being feminine and am aware that my body is attractive (even though I have terrible self esteem).

2. Do you think you would be happier if you got surgery?
If I didn't have the previously mentioned health issues, I would most likely feel okay with bottom surgery since that's where I struggle with dysphoria the most.

3. When do you think the surgery will ever be "enough"? To what extent would you have to go to feel complete?
Currently the most comfortable way to express myself is through clothing. Cross dressing definitely helps me feel more complete with myself.

4. Do you have someone in your life who accepts your identity as it is and loves you for who you are, regardless of whether you pass or have surgery?
I have a couple friends that know and were super loving and accepting of this.

5. Name one awesome feature about your pre-surgery body that you love. It doesn't have to be something gendered.
Ignoring my female parts, I can appreciate my bodily figure.

6. Now name one awesome part of your personality that won't change if you had surgery.
My passion for zoology.