What can't a straight man do?

Yes you do seem to be very concerned with stereotypes.

 

Agreed. I see you are in TX. So am I. Have you talked to any counselors about any of this?

 

Hey Erny,

I agree with clustergazelle and BiGuy365 in that you are focused on stereotypes.

If you are interested in cross-dressing, that isn't (necessarily) a reflection on either your sexual orientation or gender identity. Most cross-dressers are cis heterosexuals.

I know from your previous threads that you have received professional therapy for your concerns. I would say that you should trust your therapists. They know you far better than we can here on this anonymous website.

 

I don't see what this has to do with being a straight man....my uncle is a straight man that likes cooking, chick flicks, and gardening, lol.

I think you're fine, just keep being you.

 

The only thing I think a straight man can't do is be sexually attracted to another man, because at that point they are not, strictly speaking, straight.

 

Hey Erny,

I know that you are OCD and are working with your therapists. You won't honestly get anything more or less from us here on this LGBTQ website than the fact that you seem really straight and that we totally appreciate our Allies.

Why do you want to continue to engage the (totally sympathetic) LGBTQ community while you are simply dealing with your own (straight) reality?

 

It is sadly normal to think that 'girly' things that you enjoy make you gay. Activities are not related to sexuality or gender, they are just things for people to enjoy. If you enjoy them, try not to overthink it and let yourself enjoy it :3

 

The only thing a straight man cannot do is be in love with or attracted to another man, regardless of your interests/hobbies.

 

Actually, there is a huge element of oppression built into our (western) society's expectations of a man. As a male, I've felt uncomfortable with those expectations since I was very young. We *all* carry certain male vs. female stereotypes in our heads. They're "imprinted" on us as we develop from a child to an adult in our culture/society.

But I lift my glass to all straight men who are seriously comfortable around gay/bi/pan types and never feel threatened by other straight men's attempts to box them into the usual stereotypes. I think these are the straight men with truly healthy egos, self-confidence and a strong sense of who they are, regardless of what other straight men think.

And I don't have trouble with these straight men experimenting with other men sexually. It sounds like you've done some mental testing of your "straightness," and if you're truly not attracted to men sexually, then I think you should just be comfortable in your own skin and eschew all stereotypes.

As JustABisexual said, if you enjoy something, "try not to overthink it and let yourself enjoy it :3"

Just one caveat: To be "true to yourself," if you ever reach a point where you're curious enough about male-male sex that you start fantasizing about it...then you should simply experiment with a male friend or acquaintance (after letting him know you're just curious and want to experiment).

One old and much "overused" stereotype in our society is that "real men" never doubt their "straightness" or even *fantasize* about having sex with another man. Of course this implies that once you try it, you're gay. It just ain't so! We all have the right to figure this out for ourselves without the need to label ourselves as others might feel compelled to. Be free of all that nonsense, and enjoy!

 

Your interests share no direct correlation with sexuality or gender identity. I think you should just brush this one off.

 

Yes, like a hair stylist or florist MUST be gay. :dry:

 

I think its pretty absurd all the rules men have to follow, too. It probably has to do with privilege, since its rooted in being everything a woman is NOT. Take European royalty, for example. They've traditionally had more expectations than your average peasant.

Well, masculinity, heterosexuality, are the same way. Here's proof:

We often don't say the same thing to straight women, but at the cost that lesbians are denied validity. Most people don't believe they exist; that they're doing it for attention, had a bad experience with men, or simply haven't found the "right one".

If the idea were shattered that men and women have nothing in common and are complete opposites, it wouldn't even matter.

 

You seem like a normal regular guy but you do seem over concerned with stereotypes. You worry too much and a lot of your friends probably like the sa,e things but can't admit it due to the whole manly man thing guys focus on. Don't worry about what other people think it's your life live it for you not others.

 

Intersting. I always felt like guys had more freedom to express themselves and do brave things. I get shut down all the time for being too masculine and I really wish I could be someone's boyfriend.

 

Isn't it such a strange world we live in, where guys simultaneously have more freedom to just exist and live freely, but also more rigid gender stereotypes to keep them in check?

Anyone can like anything they want. This self-limiting, macho bs in the cis-het male community seriously needs to stop.