Every time I come out to someone I always manage to make it incredibly awkward. Ive tried approaching coming out in many different ways to many different people, but it always ends in awkward conversation and interactions. Is there a way to make coming out less awkward? Or is it something that I just have to get over with?
Hey Koizee, Coming out can be a very awkward thing to do, especially because it is a personal subject. I find that the more you do it the less awkward it becomes and the more you go in with confidence the less you care if the conversations get awkward. In order to deal with the awkwardness, it is important to understand where the awkwardness coming from. Are you feeling awkward talking about it, or is it their responses/ questions that make you feel awkward?
Often times awkwardness is also partially caused by the people I'm coming out to. Since I usually do randomly in conversation, some people may just be surprised all of a sudden and be quiet. This might make it seem more awkward If I'm already nervous.
Unfortunately, you can't really control the awkwardness that comes with coming out. The awkwardness that comes with from coming out is determined on the person you are coming out to. The more okay a person is to lgbtq+ rights will inevitably be more comfortable with you coming out. However, as confusedmoose said, confidence plays a big part. The more confident you are, the less awkwardness there will be, as you will be less concerned with the person's reaction.
If it happens to come up in conversation you can always have a discussion about LGBT people being banned from stores or LGBT songs/singers. Just try and merge the conversation onto the topic before hand so they are not super surprised.
I've only ever come out in the "let's sit down I have something important to tell you" sense twice--to my parents. Ever since then I have literally simply assumed that everyone knew. Once you thoroughly incorporate that notion and completely stop censoring yourself that way eventually just about everyone does. You'll still get that moment when people tilt their head and really look at you in the middle of the conversation and then you think "oh, they didn't know." It happens to me a fair amount because I guess I don't look gay but you just go on. I haven't really encountered any awkwardness around it for twenty-some-odd years.
It would be nice to not have to censor myself 95% of the time when it comes to sexuality. I honestly think I have to not act on or say 50% of the things I think just because my family would disapprove (this is total thoughts, not just sexuality related).
I think for the most part it's always going to have that awkward moment where nobody says anything. I've had a few 'OH REALLY' reactions especially at work where I'm just like yep... But you could write a letter (like I did) or come up with a creative way like baking a cake or something?! Only if you know the reaction is going to be positive of course.
I am still getting help accepting that I am gay. Hope the cognitive behavioural therapy works soon. Can't cope. Can't even express my self to anybody. Not even some of my family. Feel depressed about it badly.
Acceptance can take a long time, but it will come. It's good that you are doing therapy. I know it is not the same as in person, but you seem to be able to at least express yourself on here, which is a great first step.
Worry you will get there. I never used to be able to gay I was gay, even to myself in the mirror and now I'm out to everyone. The only way I got rid of the awkwardness was just to keep doing, the more people you tell the less awkward it becomes.
It can be challenging when you are first coming out. However, it gets easier as you talk to more of the people you trust over time. Being able to do so will allow you to build your support base more as well. This in turn will help build your confidence as a whole.
When my mum tells me I hope you get married. I have feeling of depression. Thinking Why can’t I tell her I am gay. And will she accept it.
Do you know your mom's opinion towards the LGBT community? If not you should probably find out. If it turns out she is against it, than it probably isn't a good idea to tell her until you are old enough to move out. However even if she doesn't accept you, dont get depressed, their are plenty of people in the world that will accept you for who you are. It might take time for you to find a safe community, but once you do, it will be worth it. And remember that you aren't alone!
I think she might accept it. If she know why I was mentally ill all this time. Don't know about my dad but don’t care what he thinks. He does what my mum says. Not bothered what my sisters and brothers think where in twenty-first century. I am going to think of myself And when I tell people I am gay thats their problem if they don’t like it.
