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Struggling to ask a girl out (part two).

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Twisted777, Jun 14, 2017.

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  1. Twisted777

    Twisted777
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    Long story short, I met a girl back in October through a college project - I think I'm in love with her. I still think about her petty much every day, and I keep thinking I've seen her when I'm out (really any girl with glasses or dark curly hair gets a surprised look, until I realise it's not her).

    I posted a thread in a similar vein a few months back, I was hoping to ask her out over the Easter holiday - I actually came very close, but she asked me to help with some college work right before I actually asked her out. After that, I forgot what I was doing and only remembered after she'd gone offline.

    We've exchanged a few messages, but it's always been me starting the conversation, and me asking the questions - I feel like I'm being given hints that she's not interested. I recently sent her a message about a stonewall article she'd liked on FB about the UK election, she's not even opened the message (it's been about five days), part of me is hoping she's just had enough of politics, and doesn't want to talk about it.

    I want to ask her and get a clear answer, but I feel terrible every time I even type a message to her - even worse if I send it. It's like a strong sense of dread.

    I'm getting the impression that if I ever had a chance, it was over Christmas, and I've waited too long, and now she thinks I was never interested.
     
    #1 Twisted777, Jun 14, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2017
  2. Twisted777

    Twisted777
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    I should also add that I'm going to delete my facebook account this week, so if I don't get her number, I won't be able to contact her.
     
    #2 Twisted777, Jun 14, 2017
  3. KiwiKiwi

    KiwiKiwi
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    Personally, I think you should just come straight out and ask her if she's interested in a relationship. It may be hard, but once you do it you'll have a clear answer on how she feels and you can move on from there. I also think that asking her will lift a weight off your shoulders and give you some relief. She may reject you and that would really suck, but at least then you'll have your answer and can a move on to other relationships. I think you should ask her plainly as soon as possible since you said you are deleting your Facebook soon. I hope this helps!
     
    #3 KiwiKiwi, Jun 14, 2017
  4. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    Just do it straight out. If you take a chance, something good might happen, something bad might happen. But if you don't take a chance, nothing happens. Rejection sucks, but It's a part of life, and if we don't conquer that fear, we'd always remain single. It sucks even worse knowing you might have lost your chance.
     
    #4 Creativemind, Jun 14, 2017
  5. Twisted777

    Twisted777
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    I still can't do it! I saw that she was online, typed out a little 'do you want to go somewhere at the weekend?' and felt like I was going to be sick, my face went bright red and my heart was pounding.

    This is horrible. It's like I'm about to have a panic attack just trying to ask a simple question.
     
    #5 Twisted777, Jun 18, 2017
  6. Humbly Me

    Humbly Me
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    Make sure you are not dehydrated. Seriously. Dehydration is dangerous and you showed many of the major symptoms for it.

    You could always pre type out the message, leave it up, and randomly chose a time when you will go back and send it. I think that should help as you can distract yourself in the mean time. I recommend hiking, swimming as a distraction while you are deciding when you will send the message.

    But if you are not mental ready for a relationship, don't push it on yourself.
     
    #6 Humbly Me, Jun 18, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2017
  7. Abigail15

    Abigail15
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    Yeah I agree with Myclosetisfull - don't push yourself if you're not ready! Just because you like this girl, or even if you're in love with her, if you don't feel ready to ask her then you might just not be ready yourself.

    Perhaps you could ask to do something with mutual friends, if you have any? Or invite her to an event that you know she'll like!
     
    #7 Abigail15, Jun 18, 2017
  8. Twisted777

    Twisted777
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    What do I even say though? I'm thinking along the lines of:
    'I really like you [her name], and I've been putting off doing this since Christmas - do you want to go out sometime?'

    Maybe I should try to lead in with something? That all seems a bit sudden, if she's not interested I don't want to seem desperate or creepy...this is tricky. I want to get to know her better and be fiends even if she doesn't want a romantic relationship (I don't have any LGBT friends - she's trans btw).

    As you can probably guess, although I'm nearly twenty-one, I've never been in a relationship with anyone, I've only asked out one person before (an old friend), and he said he'd 'rather drink bleach' - you don't need to be a psychologist to see that probably isn't making this any easier.
     
    #8 Twisted777, Jun 18, 2017
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