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Is this classified as a transphobic comment?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by KartoffelWal, Jun 15, 2017.

  1. KartoffelWal

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    We were playing dodgeball in summer camp and a kid from my school referred to me by my deadname. His friend started arguing with him, saying that my name is Ian (he doesn't know me by my birth name), and then they started arguing about it. My friend shouted out "It's Ian!" and they stared at us. "Ian," I yelled.
    And then the kid who knows me from school asked, "well is that what's written on your birth certificate?" implying that Ian is not my real name and my real name is what's on my certificate.
    I just want to know, is this a transphobic statement and how serious would you rate it on a scale of 1-5? Thanks!
     
  2. anthracite

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    If you ruled out anything else (like you're from a non-english country and he thought it's weird), yes it's transphobic and worth a slap. Then that dude's an asshole.
     
  3. EverDeer

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    Yeah. If it was clearly implied that you no longer go by that name, I don't really think it needs much of an explanation. Even if you had to spell out for the guy that you were trans, I think the comment still would've stood out either way. He could've very easily just asked something like "oh I didn't know you changed your name, when/why is that?" Instead, even if it wasn't super polite either it still would've been a better alternative and probably would've come from a place of care/curiosity as opposed to just saying you were basically wrong about your own name.
     
  4. Kasey

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    Yes. Plain and simple, yes.
     
  5. Wolfwing

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    It sounds like it was intentional, so yes. Though on the off chance that I'm mistaken, then I wouldn't count it as transphobic if it was unintentional, but there's a 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance it was unintentional.
     
  6. looking for me

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    absol-Freaking-lutley that kid is not your friend. the person who stood up for you is, however.
     
  7. swimmingfly

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    i would have probably punched him tbh
     
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  8. BirthLifeDeath

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    I wouldn't say he was being transphobic, he was just being a d*ck.
     
  9. Jellal

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    Guys, keep your hands to yourselves.
     
  10. Sebby45

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    Certainly bullying. It is none of his business.
     
  11. skittlz

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  12. Chip

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    It's certainly hurtful and disrespectful.

    And there may be an opportunity to educate here. People often don't understand trans issues, and may have fears or simply a lack of awareness of what being trans means.

    Whether you choose to engage is entirely up to you. But sometimes, real change, and a real level of understanding can come from approaching these situations with an expectation of the basic goodness in people instead of assuming that they're just assholes.
     
  13. SkyWinter

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    No it wasn't transphobic. No one in here has proven that this guy is transphobic. He recognized you and called you the name he remembered you went by. Nothing about that is transphobic. Even saying "It's Ian" doesn't provide an explanation to him. It would be like if a cis-person changed their name but someone called them the name they used to go by. There is nothing "phobic" about that.
     
  14. Bassbolt

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    regardless of whether or not he knew you by the name before or not, the comment about the birth certificate was enough to push it over the point of misunderstanding and into the realm of transphobia
     
  15. SkyWinter

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    Not really. If you don't come out and say "Im trans, and I changed my name" and instead just yell your name at someone who recognizes you, then it's not weird for them to get upset.

    Like I already said, if someone you knew changed their name and you called them by the name you used before that's not a "phobia". This had nothing to do with fear.
     
  16. Myles Kramer

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    There is no reason for these guys to even be arguing about your name in the first place, if you say "it's ian" then it's Ian and there's nothing to discuss or bc wtf does he think that he gets input on what ur called? He doesn't need an explanation to be respectful, just an answer. It was none of his business to start shit bc of your name and that in and of itself is putting you through a tough time, and he knew that. (BTW that bit is a transphobic microagression bc he was enforcing gender norms to make you uncomfortable not bc he was consciously out to get you.) Then there's the birth certificate comment-- that's blatently transphobic, cut and dry.

    I'm sorry that guy gave you shit, I hope you don't have to run into him again.
     
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  17. Myles Kramer

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    Okay we hear your opinion, you don't think it's 'transphobic'.. you should probably just let everyone on this thread just weigh in on their own and then let the op make up their mind
     
  18. SkyWinter

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    I'm not stopping anyone from weighing in. I'm trans, and I'm providing my thoughts so that the OP can see both sides of the issue. That's a good thing.
     
  19. EverDeer

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    Hmm... I think the only unknown factor im this would be to judge how he'd react to someone who wasn't clearly trans changing their name as well. Some people are just genuinely unknowingly rude to circumstances like that-- in fact, I'd almost go as far to say that I've known more people that would find it less of an explanation if someone who just randomly wanted to change their name as opposed to a trans person declared they were going by a new name. I've tried to tell my father about friends who went by nicknames who weren't trans only to be pestered about what their real names were and then be scoffed at, and once when an older sister of mine went through a phase where she just genuinely wanted to go by a different name he totally used it against her and made fun of her for it until she stopped (she's not trans). Had he tried to use your name against you because it was a more masculine name and therefore implied your transness though (and he was the type to react normally to a cis person changing their name and just accepting it) then that would classify it as transphobia I think. The side comment about your birth certificate though does seem to imply a level of awareness relating to transphobia though, I agree. But, either way he was just being an asshole for sure hahah.
     
    #19 EverDeer, Jun 28, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2017
  20. SebAndGin

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    Why care if it´s transphobic? Just punch his nose and walk away like the winner!