Is it normal for queer girls to attract weird guys?

I definitely have this experience, and its amplified ever since I sort of came out and regected most classic feminine clothes n stuff. I get the gamer dudes, and nerds, and a lot of pretty greasy metalhead dudes have been into me too.. not sure why it is but it's very annoying

 

As someone mentioned on here, yes, women do this as well (to some extent- in terms of preconceived notions), I have to change to a new GP now because she's really upsetting me. I asked her for a new gyno who would be LGBTQ friendly, and for some reason she goes into this, "sometimes people change their preferences, lesbians have become straight later on in life", etc, just spewing what she thinks is facts. (While yes, sometimes people are a little more fluid than cut and dry labels, she was still spewing wrong ideas). And she made these weird comments when I went in with a cap on (it's subtle rainbow designed, I mean really subtle, barely noticeable) thay didn't sit well. And, I think she told her secretary (both are major gossipers), and I needed to get imaging done. Because of bad experiences(with harrassment and assault) with male doctors and male nurses, I asked her if any females worked there and if I could request females (which I always do with no problems at other places or hospitals, etc, after being advised by my therapist to do so), and, I don't think she knows my ptsd situation, but just the way she blurted out, almost yelling "no, there's no way to do that or be sure of that!!" She is older as well, and like I said, other things have put me off about her showing she's not that professional. And I'm surprised because, while I know there's homophobia everywhere, I live in a very accepting area, mainly Liberals.

But I have way too much trouble with men (strangers), and have no clue what attracts them. I don't give strangers any time of day, so I have no clue if they pick up on me being gay or what attracts them. I've started hating even going out because, no matter how much I cover up, or even make myself unattractive, I always get that creepy, wanting stare, and even followed alot. My therapist can't help me with it, she doesn't know what's making me such a target. The people, like collegues, who I've felt comfortable coming out to, I've had no problems, they're super supportive, not creepy, maybe some a little surprised, but not in a bad way, although, like I said- the area I'm in is very Liberal for the most part. And I don't come out to people unless I have a good feel for their personality (except doctors who I have to because they always assume i'm straight, although I am seriously not going to anymore after this last GP who felt the need to get very opinionated. I ONLY did because I read online that you should let your doctors know.)

Sorry, I'm just frustrated with that situation, although it did help to find this thread, I felt really alone with this topic and was wondering if it was just me. Thank you for starting it.

 

WTF? She sounds extremely unprofessional and It's really fishy that she's acting that way. I hate when they pull the fluid bullcrap, because no one ever says that about straight people. The research and statistics even state that straight women are more fluid than lesbians are on average....so....

Sorry you had that experience. I had a similar experience with a therapist who thought I was only gay because men hurt me.

 

IKR?? I hate that alot of the time we have to moreso defend ourselves about our orientation moreso than just it not be too much of a big deal. For the most part, I've been lucky about how well itvs handled when I come out to people, they either don't care (in a good way I mean, not a hostile way) or don't mind, but are awesome and supportive about it. Or some have started asking questions and advice because they were trying to come to terms and fully understand themselves. I don't know why more people can't be like that rather than try to root for you to switch sides or convinced it's just a phase or just because of past trauma or whatever. And doctors (of any kind) just need to be professional about it, no matter their opinions, just it is what it is and go with it.

When I was younger and hadn't even thought of my sexuality or anything (I was 11 or 12), and was shopping for therapists, one of them, when going through the standard initiation form of questions, asked if I ever fantasize or dream of being with women, and because I was very involved in my training for my career at that point, and young, no I hadn't, and she said very relieved "good, that's good". And that felt very wrong and hurtful, even when I didn't fully comprehend what that really was then. I hope you didn't stay with that therapist long. Professionals need to be more educated and knowledgeable on that. The younger ones seem to be, but the older ones seem to be too set in their ways and thinking.

 

i haven't attracted 'weird' guys, but i have attracted a psychopath, a sociopath, and an ex-furry

 

I think weird guys are just attracted to women in general. I have enough of them to deal with and it's frustrating.

Why can't I just be bothered by women instead?

 

EXACTLY! I'm always thinking that! Only a few girls have turned their heads (that I've noticed), whereas there's no way to even count all the guys who've either been creepy or cat-called and more than enough have even followed. I think girls (for the most part) are just more decent about it or don't want to seem creepy and are more discreet.