What is the most awkward thing you've ever done/said?

[insert entire life]

I'd say joking aside, but I'm serious. My very existence is unbelievably awkward, and because of that I have many uncomfortable encounters up my sleeve. One thing that comes to mind though is this time I was out taking pictures. A professional looking photographer came up to me when I was alone and asked what type of camera I had, so I held mine up and said, “this one”.

 

During track and field at my school, some girls I don't really know congratulated me on my running long jump by name. I asked how they knew who I was. Turns out they just read it off my shirt.

 

I have a rather large vocabulary, and one time I used the word knapsack in a conversation, and I had to repeatedly explain to my friends that no, a knapsack is not a sleeping bag.

 

Asking the same girl three times to move out of the way of the stairwell door, before remembering she was deaf.

 

[Insert entire life]

I sometimes have no filter, so awkward situations happen all the time. I think there's also a part of my brain that says "you should do this" then after it happens I think "Why did I do that?". I also have a habit of never shutting up, so sometimes I talk too much and that gets me in trouble. I am also horrible at small talk, so most of my conversations with strangers and friends are awkward as hell if I don't actually have a topic to talk about.

My top moments include:
a. offering to warm up my crush when we were waiting for a bus in cold rain, her accepting, then her backing out after five seconds of contact.

b. Constantly waving at people I think are someone I know, then realizing it's not them.

c. Always saying the weirdest response. One time at a movie theater, I went to get snacks, the girl handed me my food and said "Thanks and enjoy your movie." I responded with "Thanks, you too." After this incident, it has continued to happen at restaurants and stores, when it's not the right time to say it.

 

*Laughs awkwardly like a maniac*

I don't know where to start. Long story short, the last 18 and a half years.

The most awkward thing must be that time I've mistaken Bob Dylan for David Bowie while in the company of my music-loving friends. For some reason I thought they were separate people because I've never heard anyone speak about both of them at once on any occasion. Also they have the same initials. Shame on me, at least I know the difference now.

 

Exist haha

 

For some reason I'm absolutely terrible at remembering names and faces in both the short and long term. One time the orthodontist had just finished working on my braces and said I could bring my mom back from the waiting room to talk to her, and I accidentally brought my mom back to talk to a different orthodontist. Every time I'm asked to pass out papers in class is awkward because I don't know many people's names even if I've been in class with them for a year.

And of course I've done a lot of accidentally embarrassing things before realizing I was trans. For example, in elementary school I walked into the men's bathroom once-not to assert my gender identity, just because I hadn't thought gender-divided bathrooms were real outside of TV and I followed the people I recognized as peers in. A year or two ago when I was planing on getting confirmed I suggested the confirmation name "Paul," legitimately did not understand my parents' concerns for a moment, then went into a fervent monologue about our culture's arbitrary fixation on gendering language.

 

On the first day of high school I jumped on a table and asked if anyone wanted to battle my level 100 Pokemon team

Plus once my peers asked me if I liked to masturbate. I replied "What? Masturbate? I'm not interested in fishing"

I could go on, really

 

@SomeUsername I did something pretty similar, got halfway to the women's locker room after P.E before realizing where I was walking to. I hadn't realized I was trans yet either.

 

Too many times to remember...

Once in like fourth grade, I was getting picked up that day, but I got in the wrong car... and then left after, like, 15 seconds

Awkward moments like that increased exponentially in number throughout middle school.

Outstandingly:
A conversation in sixth grade with a teacher went as follows
(background: we're in illinois and I'm wearing a texas longhorns shirt)

teacher: do you even support them?
me: I guess not, my parents gave me it
teacher: why were they in Texas?
me: we have to go there for checkups at some hospital
teacher: that's dumb, why can't you just go to one here?
me: well he (my dad) had this rare form of cancer they couldn't cure...

that was sooo awkward;-;

 

Every date I've ever gone on.

 

Right now, I'm drawing a blank for most awkward(certainly have a few though), but two that come to mind:

Was at a restaurant before seeing a movie and after dealing with the check, he said "enjoy the movie" and (this is oddly the first time this has ever happened, especially with how awkward I can be) I said "you too" mindlessly. I guess since I'm used to things like that ending with "have a nice day/night" or something.

Second was my Grandmother got us a hotel when I was younger, and told me a suite meant two rooms. I pictured adjoining rooms. We got there, my mom and Grandma were settling their luggage in the room, and I waltzed into the adjoining room to put my things down. While looking for the lights, noticed the tv was on, thought it was weird but maybe the maid left in on accidentally. Then heard snoring. While I was deer-in-headlights trying to fully comprehend the situation, a second later, a woman says in a hushed but scared way to someone else "someone's in here!" In my defense, they should've had that door locked.

 

"[insert anything I ever did or said in eighth grade]"

Same! I remember talking to a girl once on the last day of eighth grade and asking for her address. I thought it was normal, as I like communicating through mail. She thought it was creepy. We never knew each other well, but she asked me for school advice a few years later when we decided to forget the awkward past.

 

I started University when my hair was dyed turquoise. Since nobody knew each other many people remembered me because of my hair and constantly came up to me for smalltalk etc. I'm usually not very outgoing and have a terrible memory when it comes to names.
Most of the conversations started like this:
Random student: "Oh heeeey Aaron, what's up?"
Me: "Oh, hey... you."

To be fair, that was not your fault and should have been much more awkward for the teacher. They could have been a bit more considerate.

 

When I was in 9th grade I said orgasm instead of organism while doing a presentation in front of my whole class... Defiantly not one of my proudest moments.

 

True, but it's not like they should've seen it coming, and I didn't want anyone to think I needed pity, and they all got really quiet...

While I'm here, another awkward moment: I was out walking the dog and passed by another dog walker. Naturally, the two doggos gravitated towards each other as much as a leash could allow, and so I smiled and said "They're like magnets! I mean, compass!" And the other dog walker didn't. even. look. up.