So my parents are crying in my room talking about how I'll always "be their daughter" and how my mom is upset about how she doesn't have a daughter anymore. All my parents have these false beliefs about how I chose to be this way and etc. How do I deal with this?
That is awkward. I would just try to continue on as you are. With time, hopefully they will come around. It sounds like theybare still in the grief process. Did you come out to them recently?
My parents stopped calling me their little daughter, but when I came out they did a lot, a lot more than usual. They were also thinking that "something made me feel this way", but they got used to everything and saw that it's not really the case... They came around. I agree with Brad that it sounds like grieving. They'll hopefully come around, it might just take them a couple of months...
My parents didn't take it that great either.. But they never once said they felt like they lost a daughter.. They just.. kept repeating that they didn't want me to regret this decision in my life. They said they were afraid I'd change only to want to go back.. I tried telling them I was aware and I know I want this.. They are both still comprehending it all.. My mother is taking it a bit better than my father, but both of course wanted me not to do it.
My dad said "you might want this now but it's like a big cold needle in your ass. You might feel better now but the cure could be worse than the cold". Boy were they wrong in my case.
Not that recently, maybe about 3 months ago, so they still could be in the grief process. I just didn't expect for them to cry in my room about how I should change something I can't change.
Yeah, that is really awkward. It does sound like they are still in the grief process though. It can take different people different amounts of time to get through that. Hopefully some more time will let them see things more clearly.
Thankfully my parents said they had a feeling I was gonna tell them eventually and they loved me no matter what. But I have had other family members say this, so I get how much it sucks to hear. We just have to hope that time is all they need, because for most people (the ones who truly love us), it is just about time as they see for themselves that you're still you. Keep pushing through. It'll be okay.
I came out to my parents a few months ago too, after a long, long period of time where I was really worried about what they would think. When I thought about the worst reaction they could possibly have, I never imagined being kicked out or disowned. To me, the worst thing would be if they knew, but ignored it, and expected me to change. Long story short, it's been nearly 6 months, and they're still treating it like a phase. Yes, even at age 26, parents think you will go through phases. I hate to say it, but sometimes it's necessary to become a little hardened to what your parents say and think. Mine told me my choice of name is "fucking awful", that I was supposed to be a girl, and that they don't believe for a second that I've been holding these feelings back for the past ten years. My dad flat out told me that he thinks being LGBT is a choice. I used to think that all of that would hurt so much, and for a while it did. But now I feel like no opinion of me can hurt me. The thing is that they love you and they're worried. They don't want you to be hurt or harassed, and they want life to be easy for you. They're afraid, and they're still grieving, and that's normal. But that will change in time, when this news about you isn't so new and they can see that you're not changing your mind. Just keep going, and remember that you've made it past the last hurdle, and you can make it over the next one too.
Tell them that they never had a daughter. They haven't lost anything, they never had it.To sort of help them see that they've always had a son. In a nice way though. I'm not trans but I got this from "Boy Meets Girl'' on the BBC which is about a transwoman and a cisman in a relationship.
definitely sounds like they are still in the grieving process. on the up side, they are moving through the steps, and the end game should be acceptance. eventually you'll be old enough to move forward on your own anyway so there is that to keep in your back pocket. HUGS
