I had crushes on girls and fully recognized and accepted them for years before I realized that I might be gay. Let me explain. So I had my first crush on a girl when I was 10, and I also learned that gay people existed in that same year, but for some reason it didn't click. I knew I liked her, and I actually thought to myself the words "Wow I really like this girl. She's really cute" , but if someone had asked if I was gay I'd have said no. It didn't even cross my mind that that was something that could happen. I guess I figured that since I was so young, my crushes didn't matter, and they wouldn't mean anything until I was older. Three years passed with me consciously admitting that I liked girls but not thinking anything of it, but when I was 13 two things happened, and I'm not sure if one of them or some combination of them that changed things. For one thing, I was a teenager, puberty was starting, and liking and dating other humans became an actual possibility that people considered. Secondly, one of my best friends came out to me as bi and to me, the existence of gay people was something that became a real possibility and not just a social justice issue. I didn't realize it at the time, but my subconscious mind started to realize that something was off and then desperately tried to convince me that I was straight. I told myself that I liked various different boys for about a year before I finally realized that I was gay and everything I'd been feeling started to fall into place except for one thing: How the hell did I know I liked the same gender and know what being gay means but not put two and two together? This was a really long and kind of scattered post but I've been confused about this for a while and wanted to ask if this had happened to anyone else here.
Haha yeah, I would develop attraction to some girls (and who I would become attracted to was very specifc, it wouldnt happen all the time, because Im demisexual), but I didn't think it was attraction at the time. When I look back, I laugh because I literally had crushes on girls but I was still convinced that I was heterosexual. But another thing that made it kind of interesting was that I did indeed feel attraction to guys, so that kind of suppressed my attraction to girls. I never thought I would be a person that wasn't straight and i never forcused on any possibility of me liking another girl. So that added to me being completely oblivious about a whole other half of my sexuality. So yeah I can relate to your post very much
Yes that definitely happened to me!! I used to obsessively google coming out stories and read them over and over again so I definitely knew what being gay/bi was but I just saw it as this abstract thing that happened to other people, even while I was having crushes on several female celebrities and girls I knew in real life - it took me months to get from "ooh I'm attracted to her... ooh and her... aaaand her as well" to "oh right, I'm bisexual"
I can definitely relate to this. I have been attracted to guys since about seventh or eighth grade, but always thought of myself as heterosexual. It wasn't until a few months ago that everything clicked for me.
My subconscious knew I was gay before I did. I always joked about being lesbian but I never believed I was? if that makes sense? I also kissed a girl when I was 12 years old but still it didn't click since I thought 'oh we were just trying this out because we saw it in a movie' we literally had this game 'Sleeping beauty' where each has to kiss the other to wake them up and then it's full out make out session... and still It didn't click. I literally forgot about my first kiss. but when I realize I was gay (18 years) I was like OMG my first kiss was with a girl! how the F didn't I know this? it's so odd that I kinda suppressed that memory. I always knew gay people existed (I thought only male on male) I didn't know? female on female existed) how weird is that? ( well not so weird actually because you mostly see people hating on same sex couples if they are male. but being the hypocrites they are lesbians is just a fun thing for them. I dated guys, and was engaged to one too. mostly because my Religious mother has talked about me getting married since I was a toddler waiting for me to get married before she 'dies' as she put it. so I want to marry because of her. but now I need to think of whether I want to live a happy life for her or for me.
Because you were young and you don't always understand yourself when you're young. You were too young for it to matter anyway. I had some pretty obvious clues when I was really young and I didn't put it together. It just takes a lot of time to put the clues together. Just the way it is.
My first kiss was with a girl and really young. It was good, but I felt just a little uncomfortable because I thought, ya know, I'm gonna burn in hel for like eternity. Mm.. The sweet smell of self- hatred. Can't buy that on QVC. omg im trash lol
