I went to the mall with my family and we were looking at clothes. My mom said "should we get you a swimsuit?" and I said yes. So my mom took me over to the women's section and I said "I don't want any of this." She was like, "well, you wanted a swimsuit!" And I said "I'm gonna go look in the men's section." I started over there but then she stopped me in my tracks. "Wait, what are you getting at?" I had previously watched a video on tips for FtM swimsuits, and it had suggested a swim shirt with swim trunks. So I told my mom I wanted that. She FREAKED out and told me "no, you have to get a one piece (I had told her that two-piece swimsuits make me really uncomfortable, in a dysphoric way)." Now she won't even let me THINK about getting a swim shirt and I'll feel absolutely horrible in a woman's swimsuit. Anyone have any advice for a FtM who just wants to swim?:tears:
Before, what I used to do was put swimming trunks on top of the one piece suit. Though, I know it can still be uncomfortable :/ Other than that, I tried a shirt made for cyclists. It's supposed to be close to the body and suitable for water. However, forget water slides with that, unfortunately. If that doesn't work for you, than I'm sorry, but you may have to abstain from swimming for a while I spent years avoiding it until I finally had top surgery.
If you have your own money, then just buy what you want to wear anyway. It's your decision what you wear. Not like she could force you to wear a women's swimsuit at a waterpark anyway. If she tried then she would look like the crazy one. Maybe explain the difference between a 2 piece and what you want.
You should try to come out to her (unless it would become a safety issue). One of my best friends is FtM and he just buys stuff with his own money. I mean it's his money so there isn't a lot his parents can do about it
Have you told her that you're FTM? That a one-piece would be just as uncomfortable for you as a bikini? If you haven't been expressly clear on this, and have just made vague suggestions that you don't like bikinis, then you can't be upset with your mom, because you're the one that didn't give her all of the info. If she doesn't know the whole story, it's not her fault for thinking you'd prefer a one-piece. However, if you're out to her and she's giving you a hard time because she doesn't want to address your gender identity... Take every opportunity to swim this summer that you and your mom get. Every pool party, beach trip, etc. And sit on the sidelines in shorts and a t-shirt. Just sit there, maybe kick your feet in the water. And if she says anything about you not swimming, gently and calmly remind her you would love to swim, provided she would let you out in public in something you were physically comfortable in, the sort of swimwear you told her you wanted to get. Be the bigger person. Don't get heated or argue. And don't be passive aggressive about it. Even if she gets mad, or tells you you're being ridiculous, or pinning it on her, stay calm and don't get mad. Let her know that you're not faulting or blaming her, but that you did let her know what you wanted before the opportunity to swim even came up. Consider it a lesson in civil disobedience. You shouldn't have to comply with the rules that are in opposition to your needs.
