Why am I only attracted to ppl who hurt me? It's like I can't crush on someone until I'm in some sort of conflict with them. And then they view me as an opponent, and I view them as both an opponent and someone I care about, but then they don't care about me so I always end up hurt. What can I do with my masochistic self? Are there like masochists anonymous support groups out there? I think I'm like, addicted to masochism. :help:
Do you know people will hurt you before you get in a relationship with them? If so, then I would advise taking a break from being romantically involved at all until you figure this out. If not, I have no idea.
Wow I somewhat relate to this, I would always care about someone very deeply, and then I start forming thoughts in my mind about that person. But then if the person doesn't fulfill those expectations, I resent them internally, but I still care for them at the same time. A lot of times the person has no idea what's going on. There were also a few times where the relationship died because I either grew cold towards them even though I desired to become closer, or because the other person decides to end it because of misunderstandings
Did you try to get good with them after the argument? Or you need them to still see you as their opponent to have a crush on them? I relate to this for reasons you didn't name here. I don't consider myself masochist and you don't have to be one either. I can tell you my reasons if you are interested.
Well I develop a crush on person when I fight him because then I can see who that person really is. I've got to see their bad side and possibly problems. It helps me to know that person better. Also I can see what kind of opponent they are or if they are someone really interesting to me. I want to see their limits. Hope it helped somehow.
Yeah that definitely makes sense. ---------- Post added 4th Jun 2017 at 03:30 PM ---------- For me I guess I want to change them back into the person they originally presented as. I feel like I'm constantly making inaccurate assumptions about people based on first impressions and then I develop a crush on them through the hurt they caused by their betrayal. But typically I don't crush on someone until they hurt me.
maybe it's a way of protecting yourself, and there's nothing wrong with you at all. if somebody hurts you, then you know what it feels like already. your brain isn't wired (for whatever reason) to idolize a person - you know that everyone has a dark side. so, you hold off from being attracted to a person until you're sure that you can handle them at their worst. unless that person keeps hurting you or is downright abusive towards you, i don't think you need to see somebody about it. but, if you find yourself unable to fend off people who really, really, really hurt you, take a break from relationships and get help. good luck!
