Hey everyone, Around new years I decided to really think about my sexuality and came to the term that I am bisexual. Since then I have come out to four people, however now I'm starting to wonder if I actually am... The reason I came to the conclusion that I am bi is that I obviously have developed feelings for both males and females. However, these feelings have been purely emotional only, ie I have never experienced any sexual arousion whatsoever. I have never actually been in a relationship (after multiple friendzones) and am highly inexperienced at this sort of thing, so i'm not sure if sexual attraction normally comes later or not :eusa_doh::eusa_doh: This got me thinking that maybe I am actually asexual, or some mix of both. I have never masturbated or watched porn; for no reason other than simply because I have never experienced the desire or want to. Idk if what I am describing is similar to asexual behaviour; I know hardly anything about asexuality myself, hence my confusion. I did read somewhere about demisexuality, so maybe this is more 'fitting' to me? I know labels shouldn't matter but I really need an answer. :tears: I guess I really won't know until I get a boyfriend/girlfriend, however what scares me is if I do get one and end up letting them down on the whole sex side of things. :icon_redf I would love to hear some thoughts, particularly from those of you out there who are asexual/demisexual!! (&&&)
You don't say how old you are. Assuming you are young, it is far more likely that your hormones related to puberty haven't fully kicked in yet. It's very common for people to not feel much of any sexual desire until their late teens or even early 20s, and as with almost everything else, levels of arousal will vary from person to person and there's a wide spectrum of sexual desire, all of which are within the normal spectrum of hetero or homosexuality. Asexuality is a current buzzword, but genuine asexuality, as the word is widely understood and used, is rare. Demisexuality is not credibly recognized by much of anyone in the mental health/sexuality field; in spite of protests to the contrary, it simply reflects a portion of the ordinary spectrum of sexual attraction/arousal within the regular classifications of homo and heterosexuality. The key is, if we want labels that make sense to a large portion of people, and to the people who study and work with sexual orientation for a living, then it makes sense to use the labels that are most widely used and understood. Of course... if those labels appeal to you and you feel like they serve your needs then by all means, you can label yourself any way you want.
It sounds like you're asexual to me. Asexuality is experiencing no sexual attraction. Demisexuality is experiencing sexual attraction only when a strong emotional bond has formed. Of course, you might end up being demisexual, but it's perfectly ok to change your label as you learn more about yourself! I'd say you're asexual, but only you can determine that for yourself.
