When did you realize?

I realized this February while watching tv, at age 38. Looking back on my life, there were so many clues.

I made the main love interest of my Dragon Age II main character male. It should have clicked for me then. But alas, I kept lying to myself for a few more years.

 

It's been a while since I've thought about this, but I really wasn't aware of my sexuality until I was about 17. That's when I definitely knew I was not straight. I think I was about 11 or 12 when I started noticing my fascination in other girls, particularly in a few of my best friends. I had a crush on one of my best friends at the time (who was also a lesbian...we haven't been friends for years now). I don't remember this very well (because I seemed to have put it out of my mind), but another one of my best friends (been best friends since we were 5) told me recently that when we were 6, I tried to kiss her through a plastic container lid...Most of my female friends had experimented with kissing other girls when they were little, but I guess I was so shy about it that I didn't want our lips to actually touch haha. I wasn't aware of my sexuality then, but I was pretty aware of my interest and fascination of other girls from a young age. I didn't know what being a lesbian meant until I was a teenager though...I never had a name for my sexuality until then.

 

I've posted a longer version before, but here's the tl;dr version:

Age 8 - realized I was different, couldn't figure out why
Age 10 - started trying to express myself more femininely, stopped
Age 13(ish) - discovered porn (I know, I know... :icon_redf) and started to notice I really liked the way the women looked on a pretty deep level, still couldn't figure out why
Age 15/16(ish) - started cross dressing and found it comforting, started to realize I kinda want to be a women
Age 18 - discovered transwomen through porn (again, I know I know... :icon_redf) and finally started to strongly feel that's what I am. Also started doing research into it
Mid-20's I stopped cross dressing, researching and went into denial and deep into the closet.
At 28 I started cross dressing again in secret and doing earnest research into trans* issues and poking around at the process of transitioning and finding a therapist. I stopped cross dressing about a year later, moved to Florida a year after that and came out exactly a year ago today.

I now know what and who I am more than ever and am working on accepting and embracing it. Just needing to get into a therapist to confirm my feelings and get on the right track to being my authentic self!

 

I was 15 when I suddenly had one of these "oh-shit-i'm-gay-moments". Denied it at first and later started to accept it.

 

Don't know... Always kinda knew... Never hidden what I thought to other people... There was this one douchbag in my class 2 year ago, and he knew that I wasn't the same... So one day in Philosophy class he showed me a picture of a weird model(All photoshop)whil asking me if she was hot and I looked up and said "no" and back to work(we had a big project). Then he asked why and I reaction truthfully:"fake breast and ton op photoshop filters"
Then he started laughing. He showed me some more pics the next week and everytime I said the same...
Fast forward half a year and this girl(she was part of his 'squad') let's call her Doos. Asked me and my neighbour who we thought was the most pretty girl in class and I said a girl which I truly liked... And not the makeup paintings who were considered 'hot'... Then she asked me this "It thought you were gay..." And I reacted "no", wasn't busy with those things back that her reaction was "but 'douchbags name' said you were.", " you must not believe anything he says, he only knows me by name..." I guess he was a great. Guesser. But really I knew for sure that I was different back a half a year ago in. The Philippines, most amazing LGBT country ever! Gays, Trans and crossdressers thrue the whole country. Where I was stared at by girls and gay guys... And noticed that the guys only caught my interest... Not needed to except because I have always been myself... Only confused because I am sometimes also attracted to girls... But no ones sexuality is solid everyone is basically Bi... That's my view at least.

 

Already knew I liked women at age 6. Realized I wasn't attracted to males when I was around 13.

 

I realised I liked men when I was 11 after sex ed, thinking I would like to receive and give then I realised I'm unattracted to women about 5 months ago as I fully accepted my sexuality and that my porn habits were just out of denial

 

I realized that I like guys earlier this year when I got a crush on one of my friends. I had no idea what being bi was until one of my friends came up to me and asked if I was bi. That afternoon I looked it up and realized that I'm bisexual.

 

I realized that I Liked Girls in 8th grade but I dint label myself as a Lesbian until 9th grade

 

I knew I wasn't straight at like 11 or 12 and I realized I was a lesbian at 14 or 15

 

I always knew I felt different. Even from a fairly young age. I was about 18 when I realized that I am attracted to both sexes. It was only recently though that I finally admitted to myself that I am bisexual. That's not to say that I didn't realize before but I finally said it out loud to myself.

 

So I was actually 11 and at this summer camp, it was a bioengineering camp that I was signed up for with my sister who was 13. It was 8 hours every day for a week and everyone was pretty much friends in the ground of about fifteen kids and two instructors. There was this one girl who was really funny, and cool in general. At first it was kinda like "oh she's super cool I wanna work on this project with her." Then we did the project with two other people including my sister and it was like "wow, she's super cool!" And then I kinda developed this crush on her, I wanted to actually date her. Then I was like "woah, wait what. I thought I was straight." It was totally lowkey, I don't even quite understand why I liked her but the crush on her led to another on this girl at school and I started learning SO MUCH MORE about all of the different identities, having my sister there also trying to figure out her own sexuality helped too. So for now I've settled for Panromantic, but I'm still figuring out sexuality. Somewhere down toward asexual, maybe demisexual. There's my story!

 

I knew I was gender dysphoric forever but I didn't know what transgender meant until I was 14, I knew my sexuality at 9.

 

I had my first crush on a girl when I was 10, and fully realized that I was gay right when I turned 14

 

I realized while i was working. As a housekeeper I have a lot of time where I idely think about stuff. At some point I was thinking about Ryan Reynolds and thought: 'Id do him' Then I just sat there a moment, laughed, and got back to work.

 

I thought I was asexual up until last year. Imagine the surprise. True, my tastes are a little... particular. The type I seem to take a liking to doesn't seem to be conventually considered as good-looking. But to me they're so beautiful and manly and wonderful. For all the time until I actually questioned it, I thought that was all just some fetish. But it's one I've had nearly my whole life, so...

 

I realised I wasn't straight in seventh grade when I came back from winter break and had a crush on my female friend. For a while I thought I was gay, then bi, then back to gay. And round the start of eighth grade I realised I wanted to wear a binder and it took me like five months to sort myself out regarding gender.

 

I realized on a spring break trip in ninth grade with my fam. I have no idea how they didn't notice that this guy and I were hitting it off. We were in Mexico, I live in Texas and he lives in Pennsylvania. Previously, I had a few crushes on girls, but looking back I was more pressured into those rather than actually liking the girl. Anyhow, when I first saw him and talked to him I realized I was definitely not straight. It took a couple months for me to realize that I'm not sexually attracted to girls at all.

 

I started to have feelings for the same sex at about 13, although it took a further 16 years to finally come out. During high school, I always fancied the lads, never really had a crush on any of the girls. My closest girlfriends used to ask if I was gay, clues to them were typical stereotypes such as dressing smartly, hated football, never talked about 'fit girls' etc, although these don't have to be exclusive to gay men. I was in a strong friendship with a lad from school, and we kissed, I always wanted more of a relationship with him, and was heartbroken when things ended. I realised at about 18, but kept quiet as my relationship with my ex wife was great, we had fun and I was in denial, keeping myself 'calm' by watching gay porn, at the expense of my sexual relationship with my wife, sadly. But finally, at 29, I can accept that it is a part of me that won't disappear. Embracing it has certainly reduced my stress and depression levels, I just wish I had accepted sooner as I wouldn't have 'wasted' 10 years of my life feeling ashamed and hidden, and 10 years of my ex's life and happiness, which I am truly regrettable. The more I think if it, the more I realise that I prefer romantic and sexual relations with men. I can make very strong emotional bonds with women, but there is no where nearly as much sexual passion.