This might sound like a silly question, but it's true. It's so hard to predict what'll happen in the future, especially if you're my age & people tend to shove you in the "confused" hole. But no matter how hard I try, I can never have the slightest crush on a boy. I've always had crushes on girls, I've gone crazy over a few I'll admit. But, I can admit when a guy looks pretty attractive. If he has seriously nice abs or cheekbones, I appreciate that and I can respect that. I'll be like, "hey he looks pretty good." But, I..don't go crazy over any boy. It's hard, too. I know, that there was & still is many boys who would take me in an instant. That are head over heels for me, that pine after me through thick & thin. I always felt bad, I could never feel the same way. Sure, if a boy ends up flirting/teasing me, I'll feel slightly embarrassed, but it's that sick feeling that you know you're wanted that really blurs me out from everything else. Like, feeling special because of someone, but that's it. It distracts me, I don't know what to do. Love doesn't come naturally for me with boys as it does for me with girls. It's also that, I'm scared that if I do finally come out as gay, I'll change and realize I'm straight, and the whole thing will be a hot mess. :bang::bang::bang:
I think a lot of queer people deal with self doubt in these sorts of situations. Society kind of acts like attractive people of genders you aren't attracted to are just invisible to you, which is ludicrous. But also that if you can see the attractiveness in people you must be a different sexuality. It's hard to, but you should just remember that generally what society thinks is complete insanity and just do whatever you want.
Sounds like you got it figured out pretty well already. But you don't have to come out now. You could wait a few years or months until you feel more comfortable about the idea. Do you think your parents and close friends would support you?
There may be a few friends I'll lose due to close-mindedness..but hey, if they leave me just because of who I am, are they really my friend?
That sort of thing rarely reverses. You can (easier said etc.) stop worrying about that. What you should worry about is just what everybody straight/gay/bi/etc. worries about: "Does she like me?" "What would happen if I ask her out?" "Are we going to have a second date?" Good luck, and I hope you find yourself with that kind of "problem" soon.
