Something amazing has happened to me in the last few days. As with me nothing ever comes without complications, but I can officially say that without a shadow of a doubt I am gay. I never really had any doubt but now I know my feelings were 1000% right! I am gay, happy, proud and feel finally complete and content in a way that I have never felt before. I actually have tears running down my cheeks as I really do feel like I am now out of a storm... a black year in my life that I had to experience and go through to become the person I am now... in fact, not become. As another member said to me and she will know who she is ... 'Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place" OMG how true. I have carried this quote with me and it helped me get back on track many times. I have spent most of the weekend in bed. I can still smell her on my clothes that I wore yesterday while we were cuddling. I won't change today. I have so much work to do and I think I will actually be able to concentrate. She has her thoughts like I do. We both have things we are still dealing with but it doesn't matter. I have told her I still have a hang up with my catalyst. She has something similar. Both things have no chance of happening, so for now we are just going to go with the flow. I have decided not to go to the singles night on Friday. Not because of her, as I said. This relationship may not last in a romantic way for long. But we have both said that we will be friends and be there for each other when a like minded person is needed. I have a busy week. Work going on indoors and some orders for my little business to complete and then also to try and get this big grin off my face before heading back to the day job on Monday. It's only Tuesday but I think it may be permanent! Don't give up. You really will weather the storms you are going through as you all deserve to be happy. Our journeys are not easy. I truly believe the reason for that is when we do come out the other side we are reborn and know that we deserve to be happy and we must make it happen and we will fight for it. I actually will stop there. The words I could type would make Jackie Collins millions. But they are private. Mine to carry. What a whirlwind weekend. And as for my children. Yesterday afternoon I told them I had a friend coming to stay. Their replies were 'ok' a very long drawn out OOOkayyyy? But they all went off and did their own thing and left us to behave like loved up teenagers in my bedroom. Playing music and totally having such a fabulous chilling time. It is intoxicating and I want more!
OMG Jackie--I read this and I was like WAIT did I miss something here!!!??? Went back to your last post to check--and YES! I certainly did!!!!(!) I love this story! Everything about it...from how the whole night(and morning!) happened to the honesty you two shared (her disclosing she is hung up on someone else, you disclosing you are still getting over your catalyst) before getting physical. You deciding not to get physical that night because she was drunk, but rather just to cuddle--and nothing physical happening until the morning. I think so often in relationships we are not clear and honest about exactly where we are at, where we stand, what's going on with us REALLY and set up expectations with us knowing this information, but the other person not. (If that makes sense!) And hoping the other person is either a mindreader, or somehow miraculously on the same page. Or that we can backpedal into sharing this information LATER, after sex and emotions have gotten involved. And that leads to all kinds of issues. In this case you were both transparent in your talk the night before, nothing hidden. Neither of you has weird expectations and have identifying that what you need most is friendship...the morning being just being a BONUS! So happy for you! I think the reason she found it hard to believe it was your first time is because--well-when it's right, it's right, we just sort of know what to do. Maybe the same reason I was SHOCKED by how not nervous I was my first time with a woman. It just feels right and makes so much sense doesn't it? I'm the one who sent you that quote--I love it too! Have it posted both on my fridge and in my office at work. It truly describes how we make our way into living our truth, to being authentic! Sending out all the excited/happy emoji's to you!:icon_bigg(!):eusa_danc
Moonsparkle... I know it was you that sent the quote xxxx I did forget the 1st time and asked on here and you sent it again. It does mean so much. Words have different meanings for me now. I can't put what I want to put on here now as it is way too private. If ok with you when I get full membership I would like to chat to you? She left this morning... an hour later text and said she would like to see me again on Friday. I have said yes! I am going with the flow, and it is f@@king brilliant!
Jackie, Congratulations on your realization, and congratulations on your happiness! My cousin had trouble coming out years ago. He had tried dating women, and we didn't know then that he only was trying to show off to our boy cousins and to prove to them that he wasn't gay. I guess he was also trying to prove to himself too that he wasn't gay. Anyway, long story short, when he finally came out, everybody in the family was relieved, because we actually knew deep inside that he was. He is now happily settled with his long-time partner and we love them to pieces.
Just want to send you a hug and say well done and thank you for sharing your beautiful experience and how wonderful. Bravo...may you be trully happy as you unbecome everything that yout not to be everything that you are and much more... With a big hug from a coming out gay guy who gets you to the core ImjustJulien
OMG I just love you all so much. I will never tire of saying this site saved my life and gave me a new outlook on everything xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You have forged your way through the dark forest and found the treasure! Haha, seriously, I'm so happy for you - and you are an inspiration for all of us. I'm still wandering in the forest, but feeling better about me and my future and know that there is treasure that awaits if I can get there.
Jackie, I said it before and I'll say it again...it's a noble thing to share your stories so selflessly because it gives us all the greatest gift which is hope. I'm so happy for your happiness! You inspire me endlessly and I truly am finding courage because of your experiences. ❤️❤️❤️
Jackie, Wow-she asked you out again and you said yes! :icon_bigg Maybe your friendship with her will become much more!...Going with the flow...AWESOME. Maybe that's just it-- letting things happen and unfold... It's true that so many of us here (me for one!) really do find your story inspiring. And of course its okay to chat when you get full member status! For now here's a toast to you and all of us here (I'm only sippin' on a diet coke right now but it'll do!). ...To our collective UNBECOMING, so all of us can be everything we were meant to be in the first place! P.S. I bet you are walking around with a new spring in your step, right!!!??:eusa_danc ENJOY!
