Recently, someone who I've come out to has been constantly... basically... fucking with me. They first threatened to out me in an argument that was related to my SEXUAL ORIENTATION, but I guess he wanted to bring up my gender identity because why the fuck not. He also calls me Sam (short for Samantha) in front of other people. On top of that, he once said loudly in our homeroom "If you're proud about beings TRANSGENDER why don't you just come out?" Which was A) offensive and B) potentially something he could out me with. On top of that (a lot of on top of that's), he made this joke on how he outed me to a teacher, which I nearly cried over, in front of everyone. To make shit worse,one of his excuses of being an asshole is that basically, some bull shit. Over the summer he triggered a panic attack, and I was really upset, crying, and scared. I yelled at him in front of other people, which he says "ruined his reputation" even though everyone knew already that he was an asshole. (Keep in mind he triggered the panic attack). Overall, I don't know what to do because when I try to approach him he invalidates my opinions, and when I ask this male friend of mine to do it, he says he does, but proceeds to do nothing. He's great, but he only listens, he never helps. Another friend of mine would be great, but this guy wouldn't listen to her even though she's the best at arguing with bigots. I want to scream. I want to cry. I'm so scared I'm worried he's gonna out me. I don't know what to do anymore. Basically how do I deal with these kind of assholes that make me want to cry ahh fuck
Quak, I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this individual, it sounds like you've had a really wrought time at school, I wanna start out with a cliché, it does get better, I really mean that, with all my heart, so many people say that and where you sit right now, you probably don't see how it will get better, but it does, you've just gotta buckle up, be strong, be you, be proud and it'll work itself out. So, I'm gonna say it how it is, the behaviour you've described of this individual is text book bullying and abuse, their behaviour has made you feel scared of their reprisal, made you cry more than once and has triggered a panic attack. You absolutely do not have to stand for this kind of behaviour ever, and as hard as it is I think the best way out of this right now is to talk to a teacher or your parents. I imagine the last thing you want right now, feeling low because of this asshole bullying you is to try to muster the energy to come out to yet another person. You'll probably be worried about being outed to people or being vulnerable to this same kind of behaviour. While I can't speak for your situation as you've not described your home life situation, most teachers have heard it all before, and if they haven't they genuinely care and want to help. You've said this individual outed you to a number of people including a teacher about your sexual orientation, you've not said how the teacher reacted, but I think they're probably a good place to start, that or another teacher who you do feel more close to, even if just a little bit. I hope you can find a way to talk to a teacher and tell them about this bullying and ask them to help you through it. What ever happens, you are a brilliant, amazing and wonderful person, and people love you. Don't allow this person power over you. If you do feel like you can't handle it anymore, please call one of these numbers: Crisis Information All the best, and thinking of you Tom
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry that you are going through such an experience. (*hug*) You were brave to come out to him and it is so sad that he turned out to be someone that you can't trust. Unfortunately, transitioning is one of the hardest experiences a person can go through and many of us face people who hurt us and leave us feeling hopeless and in pain. This is your journey and you are in control, he is just another challenge that you will hqve to cope with using the same inner strength and conviction that you used when you first came out and when you faced the class and talked about homophobia. You will never be alone on this journey, you are a part of a large community of people who have felt what you feel, who have cried as you have and felt the pain that you do. So next time he tries to hurt you, remember who you are and the world that you are a part of and see him as the empty and powerless person that he really is. He is nothing compared to the challenges that you will face along the way, just one more challenge for you to overcome so that one day the world will see you for the wonderful woman that you are inside. All the hugs in the world, (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Eevline
And more hugs! Though you don't realize it now, years from now you will have become a better, truly admirable person for the courage you've shown as you face this and other challenges. I just cannot understand why some people feel they have the right to bully others. But it does seem sometimes that people tend to persecute those of whom they are jealous. Clearly this guy has secrets he isn't sharing with others. And bullies are generally the least self-assured among us. I'm just idly wondering if he might be attracted to you, which would probably threaten his carefully built construct of himself. Perhaps he doth protest too much.
Thanks... it's been a hard couple of days, but I'm trying to pull through. I really can't go to anyone except my friends because I'm still in the closet... I'm just coping I guess.
can you avoid this asshole? or at least limit your contact? you have no control over wither he outs you or not in reality but you can at least limit your exposure day to day from his toxicity (*hug*)
Hey Samantha, I can totally relate because I was bullied when I was younger and in school. My suggestion because you are out only to your friends is still too talk to the teacher (homeroom) perhaps ask to be moved to a different seat or something... you can say that he is verbally harassing or bothering you and would it be okay to move seats... also as someone else said try to avoid him as much as possible... I found that when you move away from where they sit or hang with friends in homeroom that it seems too take the attention away from you... also if you are brave enough call him out on his behavior... probably won't help but it may make u feel better... Remember things do get better ... In the meantime surround yourself with people who do care.
