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becoming friends with sad lonely girl??

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by faultyink, May 25, 2017.

  1. faultyink

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    Last friday, my teacher approached me and told me that this girl (who I've actually had a crush on for a little while but that's not the point) is feeling very lonely and depressed, and that it would make her day if I were to try to be friends with her. Anyway, starting on Tuesday, I've made a point to talk to her every. Single. Day. For example, on Tuesday I asked how her weekend was, and I asked about a class she's taking next year. Yesterday, I asked her about a project and some other things. I talked to her today, too, but i was suddenly worried that she may find me annoying. I mean, I'm really, really not used to being the one initiating the conversation. Usually it's someone trying to draw ME out, so this is wayyy out of my comfort zone, but I want to be her friend so much!! Each time I talk to her, she's very very friendly and talkative, and she smiles a lot. Today she seemed a bit less so, but that might have just been me telling myself that...
    I'm just worried that my constant questioning is annoying, or awkward. Should I keep asking her little questions at the start of class?? And would it be ok (maybe in a couple weeks) to ask for her number, or if she wants to eat lunch outside with me??
    To anyone who answers, thank you so so much. I appreciate it a lot!!!
     
  2. Secrets5

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    Perhaps ask her "Are my questions bothering you too much? It's okay to say 'yes', perhaps ask me some?"

    I think if you two seem to be getting along, then asking for her number wouldn't be too annoying.
     
  3. Hunter8

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    I think trying to befriend her is admirable, but I wouldn't get my hopes up expecting her to be a lesbian. It seldom works out so neatly. I say stay focused on being a good friend to her and see where it goes. Also, I would definitely keep talking to her, but maybe you don't have to ask her questions before EVERY class. It might seem a little rehearsed and formulaic, and she may be picking up on that. You don't want her to get the misguided notion that you're only talking to her because your teacher urged you to. I think it's great though that you're trying to be her friend. :slight_smile:
     
  4. faultyink

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    I'm not hoping to actually date her or anything, I just want to be friends with her. I'm putting the crush thing aside cause it seems like she really just needs a friend right now!! Also, regarding the questions before every class, I'm just reaaally hoping that maybe she'll start talking to me first. I'm scared that if I stop asking the questions, we'll never talk again. She's really quiet... I try to make the questions relate to something going on, though. Like yesterday the teaher was talking with some students about a project, and I overhead, so I just asked the girl if she had finished her project. And today, I asked if she was going to an event that's happening tomorrow. I'm just soo scared that I'm coming off as annoying :frowning2: I mean, I don't ask the questions loud and obnoxiously. It probably just sounds like a really shy person asking stuff.
     
  5. Hunter8

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    I'm sure she doesn't think you're obnoxious. As it has been noted, this girl is quite shy. It may be a little hard to get her to open up. I'll just say this. When I was in high school, it would've meant everything to me if someone was coming off obnoxious to befriend me. You're a really great person for reaching out to her in this way. :slight_smile:
     
  6. faultyink

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    ahh thank you!! That made me feel a lot better! We do get along well, and she does seem to be talking a little bit more to me (asking if she can copy my notes, etc) so I think I'm making some progress. If I can at least make her feel like she has me to talk to then I'll know I'm doing something right!!!
     
    #6 faultyink, May 25, 2017
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  7. Sienrar

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    I made friends with a quiet girl a little while back. Very good decision on my part. A lot of the time, they can be some of the best people and you'd never know until you try talking to them.
     
  8. Myles Kramer

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    if you ask me, I'm not a shy person but I am depressed, and whenever anyone stops talking to me that just means "oh okay they are better off without me, thats okay I feel better alone" None of which is true.

    People don't forget about their friends (even if I feel that way) and space doesn't mean that they never want to talk to me again (I can initiate and be welcome) and I don't feel better alone (thats just so wrong on so many levels).

    I don't think that you are coming off as annoying, especially if shes getting along with you and asking for notes. A depressed brain just can't shed much light on how to come up with something interesting or happy to say without a person talking to you reasonably. You should definitely try to get to know her out of the classroom, you guys will have more to talk about than just schoolwork that way bc she does have a life and good times to share with you, it can just be harder to think that way when you're not in the moment.
     
  9. faultyink

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    thank you for your reply!! to be honest, i think that we're probably the same level of shyness, which is why i'm so nervous about all of this. even when i first met her, i thought we were oddly similar. the teacher even got us mixed up a few times cause we look a bit alike, i guess. we were always doodling similar things, listening to music etc. so i really think this could work and we could be good friends!! i just hope my social anxiety will stop breaking into my mind all the time...
     
    #9 faultyink, May 26, 2017
    Last edited: May 26, 2017
  10. Ljjgreat2017

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    I think it is important for you to keep taking chances. Keep trying to communicate with her and see where the friendship leads to. Hopefully, it goods to a strong friendly connection. Ask her about herself, like her hobbies, favorite music, favorite TV shows, etc. this is very important when you meet people.