Gay men can expect a fair degree of homophobia from other men, I would like to hear from lesbians. How bad has the lesbophobia from other women been?
Well, you rarely hear of women murdering other women for coming onto them, and women don't lose "female privilege" for coming out as gay. You also have the whole "lesbian separatism" movement, which gay men lack.
You do realize that lesbians have to deal with violence, homophobia, and fetishization from men, right? Just because we may not experience those things from women as much doesn't mean we don't experience them.
Less violence from men than gay men experience though? But that's a man's world. Fetishization is something that lesbians will disproportionately experience by a great extent, that's true. But no more than regarding straight women, its all about "sexiness". That and a gender superiority complex.
There has been a thread similar to how this one seems to be going before. I appreciate where you are coming from but I dont think it is helpful for anyone to compare who has it worse gay guys or lesbians. I think it is just different, until there is a time where its not hard for either of us we should just all work together to make it better for everyone
I agree. It's easy to say gay men experience it more because that's what is always publicized and makes the news, but lesbians experience violence too. Although it's mostly men, it's been done by women, too. Overall, it's relatively unlikely you'll expererience from women, though, they're usually more chill about it.
From women, I've experienced bad intended gossip, girls saying to other girls to not befriend me because I'll hit on them. Also some women just avoid me for the same reason. Ah, and a friend told me she's ok as long as I don't kiss my girlfriend in front of her because it is "not normal" and "disgusting". That's all I've got from women.
I've not asked many women about this, but apparently "barsexuality" is very common in N. America. Not sure about Europe though.
Not necessarily. Fetishization also leads to rape, and being raped is much, much worse than being beaten up by a homophobic guy. The mental scars take far longer to heal (if they ever do at all). True, it happens with straight women too, because women in general are more oppressed than men in general are. And butch women are also the target of homophobic violence and physical attacks from straight men. Happens in similar rates as feminine gay guys, but It's less reported. Masculine gay men have more privilege than feminine gay men when it comes to avoiding violence, same with other groups. ---------- Post added 24th May 2017 at 08:44 AM ---------- As for me personally, the homophobia has been worse from straight men than it has from straight women. I have received multiple rape and death threats from men who were angry that I didn't "want dick". I usually don't come out to straight men because I fear for my safety.
I feel like if you're a gay guy you can expect more hostility from other guys than girls, and if you're a gay girl you can expect more hostility from other girls than guys. That's just from personal experience though. I think some people, after you come out, operate under the assumption that you'll be into them. Or something.
Where did you encounter such men? ---------- Post added 24th May 2017 at 08:32 PM ---------- Like, girls kissing but "only when they're drunk", or "just friends kissing" and its not supposed to mean much. ---------- Post added 24th May 2017 at 08:33 PM ---------- Like, girls kissing but "only when they're drunk", or "just friends kissing" and its not supposed to mean much.
Everywhere. It's been every single straight guy that I tried to befriend in my experience. When they think I'm straight, they might still think "thoughts", but they tend to respect me more. Once I come out, I become a target of potential violence to them due to them thinking I'm a "challenge". It's because they view straight women as normal, and lesbians as a porn category. We are not considered human beings to straight men.
I have expierenced violence for two times (men on the street when I was walking hand in hand with my ex-girlfriend) and I'm getting verbal assaults on the street (mainly by men, few times by young women) on a regular basis. Verbal assaults as a reaction on my looks, being not 'female' - in their eyes, or they assume that I'm lesbian, and comment that in a rude way. Several times by saying, that I need to be f***** so I'd become straight. With women I haven't faced many issues. There are some that go out of my way, there is a certain type of woman who feels uncomfortable because they think that I have sexual intentions. That's always very funny, because it's the type of woman I'm not attracted to at all but for some reason they seem to think they're sexually attractive to me, and possibly to everyone else. And last: one time a woman told me that I'm not a woman and said she feels scared by lesbians because they 'always stare in aggressive way' and that she finds it disgusting to see lesbians kissing. For some reason she had a positive opinion on gay men.
Straight women aren't usually hostile towards lesbians from my experience, but straight men can be (they were even when they didn't know about my same sex attraction, but I'm bi). Yet, most people I've met (males, females) were able to live well with the LGBT community, even if they disagree with our "lifestyle". It depends on what kind of people you are talking to, I guess.
I don't know if it's common in Europe in general, but I live in a small city, a bit conservative, so I don't think anybody would risk the rumors after such a thing, unless she was actually out as bisexual or lesbian... Even my cousin told me to not hold her hand in public out of fear people would think she's gay.