1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

You ever get the feeling your "friends" don't think of you the same way?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Naos210, May 6, 2017.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Naos210

    Naos210
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2017
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Let me use a recent example. I recently started talking to this girl. I mean, I've spoken to her before, but it was normally for class purposes, we never talked on a more personal level. I recently started doing so. I mean, we seemed to get along well during class, so I don't see why we couldn't on a more personal level. However, while I'm trying to take a personal interest in her life, and her as a person in general, she doesn't seem to be doing the same. It's a very one-sided conservation, and it's very disheartening. This seems to happen a lot. I try to make more personal connections with people, and they don't seem to care. In fact, no one seems to care. When I'm all depressed and brooding is the only time anyone seems to care about me. This was fine back in middle school and elementary, because hell, I was the same. Except I really had no friends. For some reason, I had no emotional feelings for anyone. I guess this is just coming back to bite me from those years I suppose... but, now that I've had those personal emotions for people, had people I thought of as friends, I can't seem to want to go without them.

    EDIT: Oops, I might have accidentally posted in the wrong section. Could have gone in advice.

    And there's two things that make this worse. The girl I mentioned here, I all of a sudden had a bit of a crush on her. It was pretty random. I guess I just got to notice her more? I don't understand. I suppose my previous crush (who I was pretty much rejected by) did dissipate.

    Also, graduation is coming up. When that happens, I'll be back to being a complete social outcast. And that's something I really fear being again. With no one to really care (or at least I think care), I don't like talking about my mental problems, but let's just say my life will be in a bit of danger, and I'm a bit scared about that.
     
    #1 Naos210, May 6, 2017
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
  2. Robin x

    Robin x
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2017
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    That posh, rainy place called Britain
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My 2 closest friends have kinda turned on me recently, and it was ever since I came out to them.. Its really been getting me down recently >~< I'm sure you'll eventually find someone out there wholl care for you loads and comfort you :3
     
    #2 Robin x, May 6, 2017
  3. grass

    grass Guest

    For me I'm sort of paranoid that my friends don't like me as much as I like them.
     
    #3 grass, May 6, 2017
  4. Creativemind

    Creativemind
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    3,281
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Once I realize that the conversation stays one-sided, I cut all contact with such people.
     
    #4 Creativemind, May 6, 2017
  5. AriKari

    AriKari
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2016
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yeah, I've pulled away from my "friends" because I just don't enjoy the bullshit I have to deal with when it comes to the people I've hung around in the last several years in my life. I just do what I do and if I make friends then it is what it is, but I honestly just don't engage with people anymore. I don't recommend being anti-social. It's really not healthy and I've yet to do anything about it, although I've been out of school for almost 5 years.
     
    #5 AriKari, May 6, 2017
  6. Naos210

    Naos210
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2017
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    That sucks, especially since it's after something like coming out. And maybe I will. However, in my 18 years, I haven't found anything of the sort, and after school concludes, I don't see any other way of making friends.
     
    #6 Naos210, May 7, 2017
  7. eMei

    eMei
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Anglia
    This ^

    It's the best thing you can do for yourself in these situations. Don't bother putting in effort with people if they don't want to put it in with you.
     
    #7 eMei, May 7, 2017
  8. mbanema

    mbanema
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2014
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    MA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yeah. I don't have many friends to begin with, but sometimes I feel like I'm kind of a "backup" friend who's not worth dealing with when better people are around. Sometimes that's accurate and sometimes I'm probably being over-dramatic, but it's an awful thought.
     
    #8 mbanema, May 7, 2017
  9. beenthrdonetht

    beenthrdonetht
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,315
    Likes Received:
    482
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Graduation can also be an escape, a new day, an awakening. You're out into the world where you can make a new social start. Partly because everyone else is in the same boat. All their little high school cliques, games, and prejudices no longer work in a world that doesn't know their name. So they are suddenly treading water, just like everybody else.

    I hope that things get better for you. (*hug*)
     
    #9 beenthrdonetht, May 7, 2017
  10. Sleeping Owl

    Sleeping Owl
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2016
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you're continuing with education after high school then realistically it's very easy to continue making friends, depending on your personality that is. I don't have a lot of close friends but honestly I think that's a result of a few factors: 1) I don't open up a lot to people; 2) I'm introverted in general I suppose; and 3) Friendships as you get older transition from something as simple as "hey I like playing tag and you do too" when you're children to something more complex and demanding as you become adults.

    Maybe that's just my experience with it, but I've read that people in the millennial generation on the aggregate feel like they have a good number of friends but a large majority of those friendships are superficial at their core. Like they don't really depend on their friends, they just have fun with them. So maybe in some ways things stay the same from childhood? Food for thought.

    I apologize if my rambling wasn't really helpful, thought I'd leave it here anyways.
     
    #10 Sleeping Owl, May 7, 2017
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)