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Straight women have more same sex thoughts then straight men?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Mysteria, May 6, 2017.

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  1. Mysteria

    Mysteria
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    I can't remember where I read or heard this; it might have been some stupid newspaper column, but I've heard that women, because we value emotional intensity and intimacy so highly, are more likely to feel comfortable with a same sex relationship then men and more likely to have thoughts about experimenting. I don't know about that, but it does seem as though female homosexuality is less...problematic...? in our culture then male homosexuality.

    I'm just wondering because I'm really trying to sort out how much my thoughts and fantasies and desires mean and what straight women feel and what they don't, and the friends I would normally ask I can't.
     
    #1 Mysteria, May 6, 2017
  2. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Hey well I don't know whether it's right or wrong but I wonder whether the results are skewed somewhat by the fact women are much more likely to admit same sex attraction or experimentation than men. Society often seems to see 2 girls as cool but 2 guys as wrong. Not that I believe that but in the way it is viewed by some none LGBT people.
     
    #2 silverhalo, May 6, 2017
  3. baristajedi

    baristajedi
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    I find this way of thinking (in the article) problematic. I feel like I've noticed this in all sorts of ways in many contexts, this kind of thinking and what it feels like to me is that gay women's feelings aren't that serious, that it's somehow frivolous or experimental or curiosity in some way. I feel like I've encountered this in person and in media and it makes me angry, it's invalidating. My feelings for my girlfriend, and for women in general are valid, they're serious, they're important and no different from straight women's feelings for men or any other variation of sexuality.

    I think it's demeaning, honestly. I had a few things happen recently in this same vein that just left me feeling really invalidated.
     
    #3 baristajedi, May 6, 2017
  4. Chloe

    Chloe
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    Yes, there is the problem of not treating women seriously, but there is plenty of truth to women being more comfortable getting intimate with other women. I think part of that is because men struggle against society's definition of men. Being gay supposedly makes them less of a man (not true of course), while that's not a central problem for gay women.

    As stated in the previous post, a woman seriously interested in other women will feel essentially the same as any other person feels about a partner. I assume that's different from the kind of intimacy experienced between straight women. Not having been a straight woman, I don't personally know, and it's actually a good question. I think you'll know it when you feel it, and I wouldn't seriously question it because of what some straight women feel.
     
    #4 Chloe, May 6, 2017
  5. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    This really isn't anything new.

    I cannot remember historians names or book titles, but in the early modern period (1500-1750) bed sharing was normal and common, so same-sex experimentation between young women was easy and considered normal. It only became an issue if it threatened patriarchy (i.e. women dressing as men) or marriage (i.e. women never marrying and procreating). This is a massive oversimplification, but generally male same-sex experimentation was considered a bigger threat to patriarchy, the structure of society, and stability. It's a long time since I've read about this, but I think it was generally understood that in the long term, no woman would prefer a woman over a man (which might be because the male body was considered to be the perfect form? Anyone else read about this?).

    Thinking about it, that's much the same as what you're referring to; it's acceptable for women to have same-sex thoughts because it's not so threatening.
     
    #5 LostInDaydreams, May 6, 2017
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
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