Her 1st Break-Up...How Do I Help?

My daughter, almost 19, was always more interested in her girlfriends than the little boys who chased her around in grade school & middle school. She had some boyfriends in middle & high school, but almost always, the friends came first. She identifies as bi, as she finds males attractive, but has a hard time forming meaningful emotional relationships with them. Her father and I had suspicions she might prefer girls in high school and told her it was safe to tell us anything. After all, I had a gay brother and one of my two sisters is lesbian. My other sister and I always figured at least One of our kids would probably be gay/lesbian! Just a family joke, but mostly meaning we were not going to be surprised if it happened.

My daughter finally came out last summer a few months into her first "real" female relationship. It has been fairly tumultuous for many reasons the past 9 months, most of which have nothing to do with the sexual orientation aspect but rather just things you deal with in relationships. We have tried our best to offer advice without overstepping. But a couple of weeks ago the girl broke up with her. She is devastated. She can't stop crying, is becoming depressed, wants to sleep a lot, etc. This is new to her because she never felt this strongly for anyone before.

Her biggest thing is that it took her 17 years to find someone she was attracted to that was also attracted to her, and that finding other women in her age group with similar interests and that same level of attraction is not easy. I have tried looking online but am having trouble finding help. Does anyone know of safe places for Bi/Lesbian females in the 18-20 age group (i.e. bars/night clubs not an option) can meet to make friends and/or for the potential of new relationships? Also, support groups in general for those in her situation? She talks to me and I am happy to listen and help if I can, but I'm sure it would also help to have others who know exactly what she is going through.

Thanks in advance for any help/advice.

 

Nedussa,
Thank you! We do our best. I have been looking for youth groups and everything like that but still haven't found much. Will definitely continue searching though!

---------- Post added 4th May 2017 at 04:14 PM ----------

CameOutSwinging,

It's funny, we actually just moved up here 6 months ago. We lived closer to Phoenixville/Valley Forge, which was about 30-40 mins outside Philly. The move actually made things harder because she became estranged from friends as well (it was also close after graduation so some of that was a natural parting of ways). Just unfortunate timing all around.

I definitely told her my war stories and she knows I can relate. Her trump card though is how much harder it is for her to find another relationship than it was for me. I am pushing hard for at least trying to forge some friendships - others to talk to, people to hang with and a foundation for possible future relationships and/or meeting new people.

She tried one app but that did not go well as 3 people were misrepresenting themselves, so that was frustrating & disappointing. But I will definitely note the one you mentioned as a possibility. Thanks for the props, but I'm just being a mom : ) I appreciate your response and thank you for your time!